rambling as usual...
Me my mo moo, memymomu, mememe...momomomo...hummmmerrrrr...
Ok, enough about me...
Hold on, wait a minute... this is my blog thingy... which really makes it my world on the Interweb... what else would there be to talk about?
Well, turns out today that my nephew has broken up with his fiance... Appears she was having some sort of myspace relationship with this dude 120 miles away... anyway, the funny thing is (funny being relative, you dig) this fiance of his was wearing this engagement ring that I had purchased some time ago... apparently any woman that wears this ring breaks up with whomever gave it to them... He says he will try to get it back to me, or give me some money for it, but I am thinking that if I get it back I will rent it out to dudes that want to break up with their girlfriends but don't have the balls to do it... I could make some good money, although the turn around time is kinda high... hmmnnn...
So I was all like, dude I am sorry, you know she is a bitch and you are better off, unless you get back together, then I always liked her and knew it would work out, whichever... he was all like, no way, not gonna happen, So I said ok, so I said, hey, why don't you give it a few days, no need to worry about the ring right this minute... maybe she will hold it hostage, maybe she will hock it, maybe she will give it back to you and you can give it back to me, or better yet, you can pay it forward, keep it as a bitter reminder for a few years and then try to sell it to some unsuspecting sucker... he was all like, eh...
This other dude, he has a staff infection and had this painful lump in his pelvic region... he went to the dr. and this nurse there is all like, yeah, it needs to be drained (it was the size of his palm) but then the dr. is all like, hell no, it needs to be surgically removed... so they took this lump of dead skin or something out of him the size of a big marble or bouncy ball or something about this big around (I am holding up my hand and making a cirle)... So I was all like, damn dude, how many stiches did you get and you know what he said??? None... it is an open wound... there is a bandaid over it and a "wick" to pull the ooze out or something... it will have to heal itself... when the wick stops wicking he will be done... So I was all gagging, much like you may be, and then he mentioned that he has a bottle of Percocets to help with the pain... I was all like, hey, gimme some, and he was all like, no, and I was all like, come on dude, and he was like, fuck off, I have to take 3 just to kill the pain... He is a bear so I says, hey, why don't you just take like 2 and I can taser you... he said no, then I remembered that this combination apparently is fatal to bears... He sits next to my nephew...
Dude that sits next to me came back to this place where I spend all my time after taking a couple days off sick... He is walking like someone shoved something up his butt repeatedly... although he claims quite the opposite... He got a bellyache from something last week... He thought, maybe it was the food at the bowling alley, I told him, Dude, noone else got sick, then he thought, maybe it was the fruit and shit they gave us after the health thingy the other day, and I was all like, Dude, other people ate that and didn't get sick... Then he was all like, I know it wasn't from swimming in the lake the other day cause I tested it for bacteria, and I was all, you did WHAT? and he says that EVERYONE tests the water for bacteria, and I still have never heard of such a thing... I think he just got sick, maybe from a virus or something... people get sick you know... not sure about walking all funny like, like he lucky in the back seat of a volkswagen... you know what I mean...
DUDE!!! and most likely you already know about this... but I just got off the phone with this chick, right, and we were all talking and she was telling me how much she enjoys Billy Idol... and I enjoy Billy Idol is a very similar way... not the same, you dig, but similar... and so she was driving around listening to Billy Idol and was admiring Steve Stevens guitar solos and stuff... I suggested that I would enjoy listening to Billy Idol with her at her earliest convenience... like right now, yeah, lets do it (listen to Billy Idol) right now... yeah... put it on repeat and listen to it over and over and over until we are too tired to listen to it any more... yeah... I am ready... remember when we saw Billy Idol in Concert... That was HOT!!!
So, yeah, was talkin' on the phone...
I think I will just sit here for a while... just, you know, sit...
Ok, enough about me...
Hold on, wait a minute... this is my blog thingy... which really makes it my world on the Interweb... what else would there be to talk about?
Well, turns out today that my nephew has broken up with his fiance... Appears she was having some sort of myspace relationship with this dude 120 miles away... anyway, the funny thing is (funny being relative, you dig) this fiance of his was wearing this engagement ring that I had purchased some time ago... apparently any woman that wears this ring breaks up with whomever gave it to them... He says he will try to get it back to me, or give me some money for it, but I am thinking that if I get it back I will rent it out to dudes that want to break up with their girlfriends but don't have the balls to do it... I could make some good money, although the turn around time is kinda high... hmmnnn...
So I was all like, dude I am sorry, you know she is a bitch and you are better off, unless you get back together, then I always liked her and knew it would work out, whichever... he was all like, no way, not gonna happen, So I said ok, so I said, hey, why don't you give it a few days, no need to worry about the ring right this minute... maybe she will hold it hostage, maybe she will hock it, maybe she will give it back to you and you can give it back to me, or better yet, you can pay it forward, keep it as a bitter reminder for a few years and then try to sell it to some unsuspecting sucker... he was all like, eh...
This other dude, he has a staff infection and had this painful lump in his pelvic region... he went to the dr. and this nurse there is all like, yeah, it needs to be drained (it was the size of his palm) but then the dr. is all like, hell no, it needs to be surgically removed... so they took this lump of dead skin or something out of him the size of a big marble or bouncy ball or something about this big around (I am holding up my hand and making a cirle)... So I was all like, damn dude, how many stiches did you get and you know what he said??? None... it is an open wound... there is a bandaid over it and a "wick" to pull the ooze out or something... it will have to heal itself... when the wick stops wicking he will be done... So I was all gagging, much like you may be, and then he mentioned that he has a bottle of Percocets to help with the pain... I was all like, hey, gimme some, and he was all like, no, and I was all like, come on dude, and he was like, fuck off, I have to take 3 just to kill the pain... He is a bear so I says, hey, why don't you just take like 2 and I can taser you... he said no, then I remembered that this combination apparently is fatal to bears... He sits next to my nephew...
Dude that sits next to me came back to this place where I spend all my time after taking a couple days off sick... He is walking like someone shoved something up his butt repeatedly... although he claims quite the opposite... He got a bellyache from something last week... He thought, maybe it was the food at the bowling alley, I told him, Dude, noone else got sick, then he thought, maybe it was the fruit and shit they gave us after the health thingy the other day, and I was all like, Dude, other people ate that and didn't get sick... Then he was all like, I know it wasn't from swimming in the lake the other day cause I tested it for bacteria, and I was all, you did WHAT? and he says that EVERYONE tests the water for bacteria, and I still have never heard of such a thing... I think he just got sick, maybe from a virus or something... people get sick you know... not sure about walking all funny like, like he lucky in the back seat of a volkswagen... you know what I mean...
DUDE!!! and most likely you already know about this... but I just got off the phone with this chick, right, and we were all talking and she was telling me how much she enjoys Billy Idol... and I enjoy Billy Idol is a very similar way... not the same, you dig, but similar... and so she was driving around listening to Billy Idol and was admiring Steve Stevens guitar solos and stuff... I suggested that I would enjoy listening to Billy Idol with her at her earliest convenience... like right now, yeah, lets do it (listen to Billy Idol) right now... yeah... put it on repeat and listen to it over and over and over until we are too tired to listen to it any more... yeah... I am ready... remember when we saw Billy Idol in Concert... That was HOT!!!
So, yeah, was talkin' on the phone...
I think I will just sit here for a while... just, you know, sit...
posted by Catfish at 2:48 PM
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