Cussing and Shit...
I have been reading different things lately about the use of cuss words (and shit) in writing and how it makes the author appear ignorant and is completely unnecessary or something...
You know what I have to say about that... ahh, you know... (add funny/ironic cussing here, except it wouldn't really be ironic cause you damn well know I was going to do it anyhow)...
Now, I disagree... colorful cussing adds a certain flavor, a spice if you will, to the bland meatloaf of your day. From what I have seen and heard and thunk up myself, it is usually people who feel they are better (or above) others that like to look down their noses and discount the dirty bastards that use potty language... Now check that out... ain't nothin like throwin the word bastard in a sentence... when I see or hear the word bastard somewheres I get a boner... like being in a restaurant and having some super hot waitress ask if you want some fresh cracked pepper or cheese on your meal... Hell yes I do, dammit... and jiggle while you do it...
Now, I will admit that there are certain styles I don't like, and you can tell when people are just dumbshits and throwin' around big words for no apparent reason... too much pepper, dude... and anyone should be able to tell the difference between me being all flavorful (have I mentioned I am tasty? like an all day sucker... a blowpop...) and some dude being a moron... you can, can't you? Come on!!!
Oh, and I was reading this thing about not using "like" as a sentence enhancer... "I was, like, running..." or "he was all, like, running..." You know? But when I throw that in there, I hear it in my head, but in a different voice, like it ain't even me, it is like masturbating left handed... I do not believe that I actually use that kind of sentence structure when I am speaking with people, yo...
To be honest, I was reading some Maddox yesterday (see his picture on the lower left and click on it) and he was giving kind of a manifesto FAQ and he explained a lot of this and I was all like, hey, me too... although I should not have to explain myself, and I will stop... except to say that I think you should be free to cuss and people who don't agree are assholes...
Oh, and I am not going to be a ninja anymore... or a pirate... for real... I am now a Viking.
Supposedly, and I had proof of this at one time, but for real, there is Viking blood coursing through my veins... Way way back in the family history, like 1000 years or something, my people came from the places that Vikings come from... whats that, Norseland or something... Scandinavian? I am too lazy to look it up right now, but north of France (loosen up a bit, it is north of France kinda like McHenry is north of Fargo... I ain't no phd of direction, damn)... And I am not making this up, but the family name, way back, was Savage (or Sauvage as they were originally known in France)... Long story short, I hate french people and will hence forth be a Viking instead of a Ninja... Lets get real... I am kinda stealthy, can sneak up on your shit and stuff, but really, I am more of a frenetic kinda straight forward bash you on the head and steal your women and livestock kinda guy... and I love those Viking helmets... Like in that Natalie Portman rap video, that dude in the end dressed like a Viking... I would love to dress like that every day... in fur and what they call it, jerkin or something... with a big old horny helmet... yeah...
Hey, you know how sometimes when I put something down here and instead of spelling it out I just throw a ' on it? Like 'cause instead of because? or sumpin' instead of sumping? Thats flavor. yep... spicy...
**
I am at a loss for words, although I had typed out about 1500 on how my wife rocks and shit... but really, when I try to describe in words how she is really cool and hot and stuff it all sounds like crap... not big and grand enough... like I should be writing in bold font that literally jumps off the screen and slaps you so when you read about how fantastic she is you get a head rush and your life flashes before your eyes or you think you have been brushed by angel wings... and you pass out... so you kinda just read it and go WOW. Annoying? Hhhmmnn... imagine what it is like to be her and I am all throwing myself at her feet and following her around stuff. It must be hard for her, being all up on a pedestal, with the blood sacrifices and cooked pork all the time... and yet she wears it well...
All I am saying, I guess, is "KUDOS to you, baby. Well done!"
**
OH, Dude...
Yesterday the Noner came up to me while I was on the computer and was all like, do you know where my gaucho's are? I was all like, What?!? And she said it again. Now, at that point I had no idea what she was talking about. I have heard the word before, and I was thinking she meant something about her Mexican soup, but I know she wouldn't be asking me for her Mexican soup... Then I thought shoes, but that would be zappatos or something... Man, as far as girls clothes go I can pick out the following if they were in a pile: Bra and Panties (cause, you know, I have had lots of experience with bras and panties being in a pile) and I know what a shirt is, and pants, and shorts... beyond that... no... oh, yeah, I knew by then she was talking about clothes, should have put that first... anyway... so she is asking me where her gauchos are and I had to just shake my head at her and she went on to describe them in words that made them sound like pants, kinda... I was way too confused by this point so the best I could come up with was to check the dryer... Thank your favorite god, that is where they were... Turns out they are like pants, but not all the way to the ankles, kinda past the knee or something... is that right? I think so, or she grew some more, or they shrunk, but they were brown and came to mid calf and she was happy with them...
So my problem really is, how does a 7 year old girl pick up all the girl clothing terms when a 38 year old dude doesn't? I mean, what the hell... My daughter should not know more than I do about anything at this point... and is this stuff like intrinsic? Girls just know about this stuff? Secret internal handbook that boys don't get... as far as boys (and men) go, we know there are certain things that happen to women and that women do that we do not know and don't want to know and just kinda freak us out, and I am fine with that... I know all about the girls secret network, a million words being passed with a glance... but at 7?!?!
Ahh, but she is going to be a little fashionista... they are already laying out clothes days in advance, and changing 5 times a day... not playing dress up, that adds... just changing... Heh, the youngest one likes to put on "cool underwear" at random intervals, cool like, not hot...
You know what I have to say about that... ahh, you know... (add funny/ironic cussing here, except it wouldn't really be ironic cause you damn well know I was going to do it anyhow)...
Now, I disagree... colorful cussing adds a certain flavor, a spice if you will, to the bland meatloaf of your day. From what I have seen and heard and thunk up myself, it is usually people who feel they are better (or above) others that like to look down their noses and discount the dirty bastards that use potty language... Now check that out... ain't nothin like throwin the word bastard in a sentence... when I see or hear the word bastard somewheres I get a boner... like being in a restaurant and having some super hot waitress ask if you want some fresh cracked pepper or cheese on your meal... Hell yes I do, dammit... and jiggle while you do it...
Now, I will admit that there are certain styles I don't like, and you can tell when people are just dumbshits and throwin' around big words for no apparent reason... too much pepper, dude... and anyone should be able to tell the difference between me being all flavorful (have I mentioned I am tasty? like an all day sucker... a blowpop...) and some dude being a moron... you can, can't you? Come on!!!
Oh, and I was reading this thing about not using "like" as a sentence enhancer... "I was, like, running..." or "he was all, like, running..." You know? But when I throw that in there, I hear it in my head, but in a different voice, like it ain't even me, it is like masturbating left handed... I do not believe that I actually use that kind of sentence structure when I am speaking with people, yo...
To be honest, I was reading some Maddox yesterday (see his picture on the lower left and click on it) and he was giving kind of a manifesto FAQ and he explained a lot of this and I was all like, hey, me too... although I should not have to explain myself, and I will stop... except to say that I think you should be free to cuss and people who don't agree are assholes...
Oh, and I am not going to be a ninja anymore... or a pirate... for real... I am now a Viking.
Supposedly, and I had proof of this at one time, but for real, there is Viking blood coursing through my veins... Way way back in the family history, like 1000 years or something, my people came from the places that Vikings come from... whats that, Norseland or something... Scandinavian? I am too lazy to look it up right now, but north of France (loosen up a bit, it is north of France kinda like McHenry is north of Fargo... I ain't no phd of direction, damn)... And I am not making this up, but the family name, way back, was Savage (or Sauvage as they were originally known in France)... Long story short, I hate french people and will hence forth be a Viking instead of a Ninja... Lets get real... I am kinda stealthy, can sneak up on your shit and stuff, but really, I am more of a frenetic kinda straight forward bash you on the head and steal your women and livestock kinda guy... and I love those Viking helmets... Like in that Natalie Portman rap video, that dude in the end dressed like a Viking... I would love to dress like that every day... in fur and what they call it, jerkin or something... with a big old horny helmet... yeah...
Hey, you know how sometimes when I put something down here and instead of spelling it out I just throw a ' on it? Like 'cause instead of because? or sumpin' instead of sumping? Thats flavor. yep... spicy...
**
I am at a loss for words, although I had typed out about 1500 on how my wife rocks and shit... but really, when I try to describe in words how she is really cool and hot and stuff it all sounds like crap... not big and grand enough... like I should be writing in bold font that literally jumps off the screen and slaps you so when you read about how fantastic she is you get a head rush and your life flashes before your eyes or you think you have been brushed by angel wings... and you pass out... so you kinda just read it and go WOW. Annoying? Hhhmmnn... imagine what it is like to be her and I am all throwing myself at her feet and following her around stuff. It must be hard for her, being all up on a pedestal, with the blood sacrifices and cooked pork all the time... and yet she wears it well...
All I am saying, I guess, is "KUDOS to you, baby. Well done!"
**
OH, Dude...
Yesterday the Noner came up to me while I was on the computer and was all like, do you know where my gaucho's are? I was all like, What?!? And she said it again. Now, at that point I had no idea what she was talking about. I have heard the word before, and I was thinking she meant something about her Mexican soup, but I know she wouldn't be asking me for her Mexican soup... Then I thought shoes, but that would be zappatos or something... Man, as far as girls clothes go I can pick out the following if they were in a pile: Bra and Panties (cause, you know, I have had lots of experience with bras and panties being in a pile) and I know what a shirt is, and pants, and shorts... beyond that... no... oh, yeah, I knew by then she was talking about clothes, should have put that first... anyway... so she is asking me where her gauchos are and I had to just shake my head at her and she went on to describe them in words that made them sound like pants, kinda... I was way too confused by this point so the best I could come up with was to check the dryer... Thank your favorite god, that is where they were... Turns out they are like pants, but not all the way to the ankles, kinda past the knee or something... is that right? I think so, or she grew some more, or they shrunk, but they were brown and came to mid calf and she was happy with them...
So my problem really is, how does a 7 year old girl pick up all the girl clothing terms when a 38 year old dude doesn't? I mean, what the hell... My daughter should not know more than I do about anything at this point... and is this stuff like intrinsic? Girls just know about this stuff? Secret internal handbook that boys don't get... as far as boys (and men) go, we know there are certain things that happen to women and that women do that we do not know and don't want to know and just kinda freak us out, and I am fine with that... I know all about the girls secret network, a million words being passed with a glance... but at 7?!?!
Ahh, but she is going to be a little fashionista... they are already laying out clothes days in advance, and changing 5 times a day... not playing dress up, that adds... just changing... Heh, the youngest one likes to put on "cool underwear" at random intervals, cool like, not hot...
posted by Catfish at 11:50 AM
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