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Down down down she fell.
She tried flapping her arms a little bit, but did I mention that she was twisting and turning and such? Yes I did, so as she flapped her arms it really just exacerbated the twisting and turning, making her dizzy. Did I mention that she was going to throw up in her mouth, just a little bit? Well, that was because she was flapping her arms, etc. etc. and there you go... Turns out that when she threw up, just a little bit, it brought one of the fly's back up, which she then promptly swallowed back down. She had an nasty acidic taste in the back of her throat now, a little bit went up the back door to her nose and now there was a chunk stuck up there... Yeah...
Her life began to flash before her eyes, kinda sorta, and she thought about the time when she was little, and she went into her parents room, where she was not supposed to be, and the bathroom door was open, and she was looking through her mamma's drawers where she kept her underwear (her drawers drawer, yo), just because, and something caught the corner of her eye... She turned her head and saw her pa getting out of the shower, he was naked, and she ran away... Thats it. Thats the whole story, all she remembers of the incident. Oh, and her uncle was in the shower too... Hey, she just remembered, her pa and her uncle (not really her uncle, you dig, just this dude her dad introduced as Uncle Bob (heh, his name was really Roger, but her dad called him Bob because that is what he did so well))(they had gay sex together). Hhmmnn...
It was about right around this time that she died.
Dead dead dead she was. Nicest of the damned and all that jazz.
It happened in an instant (if you were watching) but in her death it was actually a long and drawn out process. The spa treatment she got, that was nice and relaxing, she felt quite refreshed after that, of course then she was sent down to Hell. Blah, blah, no room for her, there were some meetings, middle management in Hell decided they needed to discuss this for a while, some of them pointing out that this was no way to run a business, others of them indicating that they had mentioned in a memo that they were getting full and should do something about this, and others claiming that they had to get to this other really important meeting and could they take this offline and revisit it later and stuff like that. Eventually there were some forms to fill out and lines to be waited in and she didn't have a pen so ended up holding up the line when she finally got to the front while she filled out the form... Then she had to wait while there was some sort of processing of the form and then she was dismissed. They gave her a map, told her to go here --> X <-- . Pretty simple really, go here and stand on the X.
She stood to the left of the X, she stood to the right of the X. Nothing happened. She looked for a button or something, but for fucks sake, it is just an X. "Just stand on the fucking X" said a helpful demon as he passed on by. She went and stood next to it, figured she should just wait for a minute. Nothing happened. Her mouth fell open and she breathed for a while. She got tired and sat down next to the X. Nothing happened. She breathed some more and drooled a little bit. She layed down next to the X, right next to the X, on her back. Nothing. She had trouble breathing when she layed on her back. She rolled over... come on, come on, you can do it... she rolled a little bit, rolled a little bit, she rolled onto her tummy, RIGHT ONTO THE X... POOF...
Back to the scene of her death...
She materialized about 2 ft above the ground and hovered there for a second, just long enough for her to get her bearings, figure out where she was and look straight down at the ground... then she dropped. Down do... BAM... heh...
She layed there for a second, just thinking. Thought about her cat. Cat was probably hungry. Maybe lonely. So she thought...
Actually the cat hated her...
6 Signs that the cat hated her:
1) Rubbed her dirty cat butt in her face.
2) Pee'd in the corner.
3) Left cathair everywhere.
4) climbed up on the tables and counters.
5) Clawed the carpet up and the drapes down.
6) Was an evil stupid cat that clawed her last boyfriend in the Nuts as he was leaving (never to return)

She decided to get up. She rolled over and sat up.
Uhh she thought so "uhh" she said... she had pooped herself... what a suprise.
She was PLEASED!!! YES!!! she was right, situations like this DO result in you pooping yourself, thus, it doesn't matter if you wear clean underwear. YES!!!
It was a little victory, but she could feel that this was the start of something BIG!!! Things were going to start going her way, she could smell it...
She got up, feeling vindicated. She started her victory march back to her car. She had to walk a little funny cause she had, well, you know... And she finally got to her car and it was all misty and shit outside and she got in the car and sat right on it, you know... so she started up her car and turned on the heat and waited for it to warm up... she just sat there breathing... pretty soon it got all warm and steamy and stank... and she was starting to itch... she turned the radio on and started driving home, modern and uplifting jazz, how soothing... just the kind of music for people like her, mouth breathers with crap in their pants...
She drove back the way she had come, back back back, the way she had come, and somehow found herself pulling up and parking in front of the gypsy's shop, right next to the Starbucks and the video store... She went in but the gypsy "..was with someone" said the gal behind the counter. So she sat down and waited. The gal behind the counter lit some more incense, a lot more... it was all smokey and sweet (Chandan Dhoop) and Jefferson Airplane was playing (White Rabbit) and it was really, just super groovie...
Except it didn't really cover the stench, and since she had to wait she ended up sitting there and breathing (you dig) and started inhaling quite a bit of the smoke. She started getting a bit light headed, really...
Pretty soon the gypsy came out, all smiling and chatting with the gal she was just doing a reading for, it had been a good one, success and beauty would be hers... YAY!!!
First she noticed the smoke, and kind of waved it off as she walked the gal out the door. As soon as the door was shut she turned around, waved her hands and coughed.
"what the fuck is going on in here? Why are you burning so much incense?" She asked
"Uh, to cover the smell?" and she raised up her hand and pointed from behind it towards our hero.
The gypsy turned her head and turned her head and turned her head, and turning her head took a lifetime. Our hero sat and smiled, which was actually just breathing through her mouth and raising her cheeks a bit.
There was just a bunch of noise at that point, mostly gypsy curses and breaking glass...
The gypsy was a redhead, pale skin and psycho (duh)... completely irrational most of the time (although she WAS good at being a gypsy) she totally came unhinged when she saw our hero sitting in the corner... she could smell her through the incense and it enflamed her, like chumming the waters and working up the sharks...
Generally speaking, and in no particular order the gypsy said words like:
Fuck, get, out, you, smelly, bitch, stain, Kill, KILL, goddamn, streak, Ass, Kick, beaver, shit, throat, before, and a few other things I didn't really catch and/or can't figure out how to spell...
The breaking of the glass was from our gal tipping over the glass table in front of her as she jumped up excitedly...
Heh, part of the tirade had to do with the shit streak our hero left on the white chair she was sitting on (she was seeping)...
A lot of it had to do with the gypsy being a raging dyke and our hero really turned her off and threatened to turn her straight, and she had WAY too much invested in being gay to let that happen.
But most of it had to do with the gypsy having told her to "never fucking come back here again, I hope you take a long and painful trip you bitch"... or something like that...