completely random, you may want to skip this one, you've been warned
Once upon a time,
There was this cat named Flinky that liked to lick itself...
I have taken to stating the obvious and I do not know if it is just to hear myself talk or if the insanity is starting and I am trying to define my world by, uh, saying things...
Like, for example, my wife will be doing something, like cooking bacon, right, and I will walk up there next to her and say: making bacon... but it is not really a question cause I can see that she is making bacon, and I figure that she knows already that she is making bacon and doesn't need me reminding her...
Or I will be outside and getting wet and say something like: It's raining.
Or my wife will be in bed at night, with the light off, and it is dark and quiet, and I will say something like: are you going to bed...
What the fuck, you know, I mean, really... it is kind of fun, sometimes, kind of campy or carny or something, but mostly it is insane... and my wife is a saint, but I don't know how long she can pretend that there is not something wrong with me and decide to smother me in my sleep, for my own good, you know (as I have instructed her to do...)... but I don't think I am ready for that...
Baby, don't smother me yet... I can still kick it for a while... wait until I start dribbling in my pants and stuff... a lot though, not just a little bit... like, wait for a constant trickle... then you can smother me...
Dude, so, yeah, especially when I dribble in my pants and I look down and say "I dribbled in my pants", unless I am wearing dark pants, or have just been swimming, that doesn't count...
I was going to say that I would be ready to go when I start babbling, but that would have gotten me killed a long time ago...
I remember when I first spoke with my wife, she was working in the bookstore at HCC, right, and this dude I know had told me her name and that she was going to be going to TESC also, so I went up to the bookstore, and she was all hot and stuff, and I circled around looking at things, and I think I may have actually bought some gum or a pen or something... So I got up to the register where she was and I was all like "hey" and stuff... and I remember this, I was barefoot and I had my baseball cap on backwards, and I had written LONO on the bill, and I may have been wearing my flannel, not sure... anyway, I go up and say Hey to her and she was all like, what do you want, dork, and I was all like, babble, babble, babble... and shit... and I remember fully how gorgeous she was and how I was not worthy and shit, but you know what? I kept at it...
I had a couple classes with her, and chatted about transferring colleges, I didn't have anything to lose, and I don't remember if I ever mentioned it here before, but in Astronomy, I used to sit with this friend of mine, you dig, and we would watch this angel come walking into class every day, and one day he said something and I said "watch it, dude, you are talking about my future wife, there"...
True story...
Uhh, where was I... babbling... oh, yeah, so I waited all summer for her because she was fancy and my life was not fancy, right, so I was hiding from my girlfriend at the time when I hear this voice calling to me, I was all like, duh, and I looked up and saw her leaning out her window, and she invited me up for a beer and she was wearing these little shorts and I was staring at her, and we started hanging out and I remember that we had some very real conversations, arguments, and we figured shit out, but I somehow think that much of what I was doing was just random babbling but I was doing it with such magic or sorcery or something that I had her mesmerized... fascinated her, like a train wreck or something, she had to see what I would do next... she said once that it was because I cared... and I did and still do...
See... that's the kind of stuff that would get me killed without specific instruction...
I hope it goes down that one day I go out to get the paper or something, and then disappear and they find me a couple days later with my a big wet spot in my pants and screaming at people walking down the street about very obvious things and they take me home, right, the cops, that is, and they take me home and knock on the door and ask my wife if I belong to her and she kinda thinks about it for a minute then finally admits that I do and they kinda look at each other and back to her and kinda unspoken like come to the conclusion that she is much to fine (still) to be stuck with me in this sorta state so they let just take me out back and shoot me... ooohhh... harsh... uhh...
Ok, but I don't die and I end up in the hospital and am a drain on society and my last lucid thought is for some jello or puddin' or something, and I eat it and fall asleep and uhh... she smothers me... but in a good way.. happy happy
There was this cat named Flinky that liked to lick itself...
I have taken to stating the obvious and I do not know if it is just to hear myself talk or if the insanity is starting and I am trying to define my world by, uh, saying things...
Like, for example, my wife will be doing something, like cooking bacon, right, and I will walk up there next to her and say: making bacon... but it is not really a question cause I can see that she is making bacon, and I figure that she knows already that she is making bacon and doesn't need me reminding her...
Or I will be outside and getting wet and say something like: It's raining.
Or my wife will be in bed at night, with the light off, and it is dark and quiet, and I will say something like: are you going to bed...
What the fuck, you know, I mean, really... it is kind of fun, sometimes, kind of campy or carny or something, but mostly it is insane... and my wife is a saint, but I don't know how long she can pretend that there is not something wrong with me and decide to smother me in my sleep, for my own good, you know (as I have instructed her to do...)... but I don't think I am ready for that...
Baby, don't smother me yet... I can still kick it for a while... wait until I start dribbling in my pants and stuff... a lot though, not just a little bit... like, wait for a constant trickle... then you can smother me...
Dude, so, yeah, especially when I dribble in my pants and I look down and say "I dribbled in my pants", unless I am wearing dark pants, or have just been swimming, that doesn't count...
I was going to say that I would be ready to go when I start babbling, but that would have gotten me killed a long time ago...
I remember when I first spoke with my wife, she was working in the bookstore at HCC, right, and this dude I know had told me her name and that she was going to be going to TESC also, so I went up to the bookstore, and she was all hot and stuff, and I circled around looking at things, and I think I may have actually bought some gum or a pen or something... So I got up to the register where she was and I was all like "hey" and stuff... and I remember this, I was barefoot and I had my baseball cap on backwards, and I had written LONO on the bill, and I may have been wearing my flannel, not sure... anyway, I go up and say Hey to her and she was all like, what do you want, dork, and I was all like, babble, babble, babble... and shit... and I remember fully how gorgeous she was and how I was not worthy and shit, but you know what? I kept at it...
I had a couple classes with her, and chatted about transferring colleges, I didn't have anything to lose, and I don't remember if I ever mentioned it here before, but in Astronomy, I used to sit with this friend of mine, you dig, and we would watch this angel come walking into class every day, and one day he said something and I said "watch it, dude, you are talking about my future wife, there"...
True story...
Uhh, where was I... babbling... oh, yeah, so I waited all summer for her because she was fancy and my life was not fancy, right, so I was hiding from my girlfriend at the time when I hear this voice calling to me, I was all like, duh, and I looked up and saw her leaning out her window, and she invited me up for a beer and she was wearing these little shorts and I was staring at her, and we started hanging out and I remember that we had some very real conversations, arguments, and we figured shit out, but I somehow think that much of what I was doing was just random babbling but I was doing it with such magic or sorcery or something that I had her mesmerized... fascinated her, like a train wreck or something, she had to see what I would do next... she said once that it was because I cared... and I did and still do...
See... that's the kind of stuff that would get me killed without specific instruction...
I hope it goes down that one day I go out to get the paper or something, and then disappear and they find me a couple days later with my a big wet spot in my pants and screaming at people walking down the street about very obvious things and they take me home, right, the cops, that is, and they take me home and knock on the door and ask my wife if I belong to her and she kinda thinks about it for a minute then finally admits that I do and they kinda look at each other and back to her and kinda unspoken like come to the conclusion that she is much to fine (still) to be stuck with me in this sorta state so they let just take me out back and shoot me... ooohhh... harsh... uhh...
Ok, but I don't die and I end up in the hospital and am a drain on society and my last lucid thought is for some jello or puddin' or something, and I eat it and fall asleep and uhh... she smothers me... but in a good way.. happy happy
posted by Catfish at 3:05 PM
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