licky boom boom down
Somebody is getting a massage tonight!!! That's right, ME!!!
My lovely lady made me an appointment to go get rubbed down with scented oils in a shed in this chicks backyard. I hope it is like the shed in my parents backyard, with skunks living beneath it and a lawnmower in the corner. That would be sweet. Although, when my lady comes home from her massage she doesn't smell like gasoline so I doubt this will be the case.
I will be wearing my man panties... I'm just saying.
I expect that when she is done I will be floating on air, and my pelt will be all matted down. All that touching and rubbing and oil and stuff, you know I am going to be expecting a happy ending from someone, even if I have to stop by the 7-11 and offer to buy beer for someone to "finish me off". That 7-11 up on 288th usually has some shady looking "ladies" hanging out, I bet I could trick one of them into a freebie, tell them its my birthday or something. Hey baby, you wanna party? It's my birthday and I just got a massage... you got big hands, you feel like finishing me off? My wife doesn't understand me and I just need to be with someone right now...
If she goes for it, when she is done I will be all like dre and snoop, break into song and push her out of the car while it is still moving... she will probably be expecting something like this, you know, so it won't really be any big deal. Maybe I will buy her a wine cooler or something, you know, cause I know how to treat the ladies, make em feel special.
NO NO NO!!! Something special like that should not be shared with some random hussy on the street. NO!!! If there is to be any happy endings it will be at the hands of my lovely wife. Or a duly assigned proxy. I will leave it in her hands (no pun intended) as to how she would like to "handle" (pun intended) the situation.
***
Shhh... I am thinking of working from home on Thursday. Sorry, let me rephrase that... I am thinking of "working" from home on Thursday. The boss will be off. The bosses boss will be in KL, the dude that sits next to me will be off... perhaps I should work from home tomorrow instead... then have the 4th off, but then I would have to come in on Thursday all tired and shit... but it will be dead around here so there wouldn't be much going on...
Dude, someone asked me how if I still "loved" my job the other day. I think I said something about "love" being a bit strong. I do enjoy being here, but I would much rather get paid to make mud pies in the sun. Wouldn't that be great?
Then, the other day my lady said something about how I should be amasseuse massage dude, seeing as how I have big manly hands that are gentle and sensitive... but then I would have to touch pretty much anyone that came walking in the door and I am not sure I could deal with that.
Then I was thinking that pretty much no matter what job I found I would be all stressed out about having to actually do it. For real... I could have the greatest job in the world, like a job where I get paid for just being me or something, and I would sit there all day thinking to myself: Ahh, I am a fraud and I am going to get fired for no fault of my own and noone is telling me that they are disappointed in my performance and they are probably not going to fire me but because I am sitting here thinking that they are they probably think I have a negative attitude and I am bringing everybody down and so they will fire me. Shit.
I think I will change my attitude right now. Let's see.
Hey, it sure is beautiful out, eh? (Damn wish I was outside enjoying it.) shit...
Uhh, Hey, free pop, that rocks!!! (Ugghh, all that high fructose corn syrup is going to give me the diabetes) shit...
That new girl with the large breasteses keeps smiling at me! (WTF?!? she must be crazy and I am married to she needs to back it off) Shit...
Hhhmmnnn... Uh... lets see, happy... happy...
Ok, nevermind... I am going to start tomorrow. After my massage and happy ending I will have a whole new outlook on life. Tomorrow I am going to have a whole new attitude, you will be able to see it in my eyes and I will glow with a radiance of joy and love... and my old lady will be pleased and won't think that I am ugly and fat anymore... shit...
My lovely lady made me an appointment to go get rubbed down with scented oils in a shed in this chicks backyard. I hope it is like the shed in my parents backyard, with skunks living beneath it and a lawnmower in the corner. That would be sweet. Although, when my lady comes home from her massage she doesn't smell like gasoline so I doubt this will be the case.
I will be wearing my man panties... I'm just saying.
I expect that when she is done I will be floating on air, and my pelt will be all matted down. All that touching and rubbing and oil and stuff, you know I am going to be expecting a happy ending from someone, even if I have to stop by the 7-11 and offer to buy beer for someone to "finish me off". That 7-11 up on 288th usually has some shady looking "ladies" hanging out, I bet I could trick one of them into a freebie, tell them its my birthday or something. Hey baby, you wanna party? It's my birthday and I just got a massage... you got big hands, you feel like finishing me off? My wife doesn't understand me and I just need to be with someone right now...
If she goes for it, when she is done I will be all like dre and snoop, break into song and push her out of the car while it is still moving... she will probably be expecting something like this, you know, so it won't really be any big deal. Maybe I will buy her a wine cooler or something, you know, cause I know how to treat the ladies, make em feel special.
NO NO NO!!! Something special like that should not be shared with some random hussy on the street. NO!!! If there is to be any happy endings it will be at the hands of my lovely wife. Or a duly assigned proxy. I will leave it in her hands (no pun intended) as to how she would like to "handle" (pun intended) the situation.
***
Shhh... I am thinking of working from home on Thursday. Sorry, let me rephrase that... I am thinking of "working" from home on Thursday. The boss will be off. The bosses boss will be in KL, the dude that sits next to me will be off... perhaps I should work from home tomorrow instead... then have the 4th off, but then I would have to come in on Thursday all tired and shit... but it will be dead around here so there wouldn't be much going on...
Dude, someone asked me how if I still "loved" my job the other day. I think I said something about "love" being a bit strong. I do enjoy being here, but I would much rather get paid to make mud pies in the sun. Wouldn't that be great?
Then, the other day my lady said something about how I should be a
Then I was thinking that pretty much no matter what job I found I would be all stressed out about having to actually do it. For real... I could have the greatest job in the world, like a job where I get paid for just being me or something, and I would sit there all day thinking to myself: Ahh, I am a fraud and I am going to get fired for no fault of my own and noone is telling me that they are disappointed in my performance and they are probably not going to fire me but because I am sitting here thinking that they are they probably think I have a negative attitude and I am bringing everybody down and so they will fire me. Shit.
I think I will change my attitude right now. Let's see.
Hey, it sure is beautiful out, eh? (Damn wish I was outside enjoying it.) shit...
Uhh, Hey, free pop, that rocks!!! (Ugghh, all that high fructose corn syrup is going to give me the diabetes) shit...
That new girl with the large breasteses keeps smiling at me! (WTF?!? she must be crazy and I am married to she needs to back it off) Shit...
Hhhmmnnn... Uh... lets see, happy... happy...
Ok, nevermind... I am going to start tomorrow. After my massage and happy ending I will have a whole new outlook on life. Tomorrow I am going to have a whole new attitude, you will be able to see it in my eyes and I will glow with a radiance of joy and love... and my old lady will be pleased and won't think that I am ugly and fat anymore... shit...
Labels: massage
posted by Catfish at 10:10 AM
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