I let my monkey out

I let my monkey out the other day.  It had to be done.  He had been whispering in my ear, and he gave quite the convincing argument. 
He was saying, all quiet like: Hey, Catfish, come on.  Let's go, come on.
So I let him out of his cage.  He was quiet well behaved, as well behaved as a wild animal who has been kept in captivity for years can be.  He took my hand and I let him guide me, I followed where he lead.  We went to the liquor store first, he was thirsty.  He was a cheap date, we got a pint of Canadian Mist.  We passed the bottle back and forth for a bit, then got on the bus.  I wasn't sure where we were going, but I didn't care.  We went downtown, went to find something smelly and sweet.  We bought some incense, som patchouli, some sandalwood.  We sniffed at the boxes and looked at all the craven images.
We watched the fools flinging fish for the tourists.  We watched the japanese tourists take their pictures next to a pig.  We followed a couple women and a man pushing a stroller down the street.  They were moving slow, but we kept pace behind them.  We went down an alley and past some women smoking outside a bar.  I felt like they were watching me, maybe wanted them to be watching me, but we kept on going.  We passed a man with some sort of sickness outside a clinic, but didn't stop, we kept on walking.
We ended up in a irish bar.  Their were tourists and a couple gay dudes sitting at the bar.  I listened to the bartender explain to the tourists that the original skid row was just outside...  he didn't explain why it was called that, but the tourists were duelly inpressed anyhow.  We sat down and smell our smelly stuff, rubbed some on our wrists.
The waitress came over and I waited for my monkey to whisper in my ear, tell me what the plan was.  The plan called for a pint of Guinness and a shot of Wild Turkey.  I liked this plan so put it into motion.  Hell, I took pictures of it when it was delivered. 
I sat looking at it, waiting for instructions.  I was suprised when the instructions came to take a big sip of the Guinness and pinch my left nipple at the same time.  What the hell?!?  I did it.  Another fantastic plan.  Things were going great and my nipple tingled.  We sat in silence, listening, drinking and just being.  Whew... I was buzzed, and I was happy and my monkey patted my thighs and smiled.  He made me buy a tee-shirt.
We left and walked down the street, past a man dressed like a pimp in a fur coat, a dude stumbled down the road, I stumbled in the opposite direction.  There were stores, shops, I would never go in to.  There were fancy bars/restraunts with names I don't remember, but would never go into.  We went down the road one way, turned around and went down the road the other way.  We crossed the street and went down a different road.  Another slow moving pedestrian blocked our path, this time we practiced impatience and hustled by her.  We came to a busstop that would work for us, but had some time to kill so we went in a smoke shop.  The plan was to buy a bong, specifically a plastic one, about 6 inches tall, purple if they had one.  They didn't.  I suggested we buy a glass one with a dragon on it, but my monkey told me that wasn't such a good idea.  I suggested a cigar.  My monkey said no.  So we left.   My monkey told me I needed to take a pull off the whiskey, right there at the bus stop, so I did. 
I was tired and delirious, my mind was reeling and I felt fantastic.  I wanted to hug someone.  I was smiling at everyone.
We got on the bus and sat in the back.  There was a cute girl that got on that I see sometimes and she sat next to me, kinda.  I looked at her and she stared straight ahead.  My monkey said Nah and I agreed.