The devil will find work for idle hands to do...
The difference between yesterday (where I had the house to myself all day) and today (where there are 300% more people congregating about) is remarkable.
It started sometime in the middle of the night, where I was woken from my slumber by a plethora of little girls all climbing into my bed and observing that they did not have enough room or covers. The result of this was me schoochin' over to the edge of the bed and losing all cover privileges. Somewhere in there my lovely wife disappeared, and then there were 3.
Now, you might think that removing one person from the bed would result in a bit more room. But you would be wrong. I was still on the verge, so to speak, and cold. Like one of those mountain climber dudes that hang off the side of the mountain and sleep in a hammock. At least they get to pee off the side of the side of the mountain and down 1000 ft..
Somehow I found peace in all of this and slept. Just for a little while though. Somewhere in there, I believe it was just after 5am, there was some screaming going on about the sleeping arrangements. Apparently the Noner had slid down about halfway down the bed and was completely under the covers and sideways or something. Not really sure, my cognitive abilities were not available to me. I was in an ancient state, pure animal instincts at that point.
I sat up and was all like, "WTF IS GOING ON?"
I got a quick explanation from the little viking, and I sprung into action. I think I exclaimed "get your ass up here to the top of the bed goddamn it."
The response I got was that it was perfectly acceptable for her to be sideways and under the covers and not sleeping in an acceptable manner... but it was explained in a way bothered me, so I explained that if they slept in their own f'in beds there wouldn't be these problems and I would be able to sleep peaceably. There was some crying and then she disappeared. I plopped down and was about to fall fast asleep when I realized that there were only 2 of us in the bed at this point and I should have a hell of a lot of room available to me. I noticed that there was about an acre of space on the other side of the little viking, so I shoved her over to the other side and stretched out. I was sweet.
I slept until after 9... pretty sweet, huh???
Not really, I woke with a splitting headache and an overall unpleasant feeling...
Bitch and moan, bitch and moan, I know... I don't like it any better than you do. Holy shit... now its noon... I gotta get rolling... I better get to my point...
I think my point is... Goddamn it is noisy in the house today... I am confused and think I will take a shower and cry so no one will see my tears... that's all...
It started sometime in the middle of the night, where I was woken from my slumber by a plethora of little girls all climbing into my bed and observing that they did not have enough room or covers. The result of this was me schoochin' over to the edge of the bed and losing all cover privileges. Somewhere in there my lovely wife disappeared, and then there were 3.
Now, you might think that removing one person from the bed would result in a bit more room. But you would be wrong. I was still on the verge, so to speak, and cold. Like one of those mountain climber dudes that hang off the side of the mountain and sleep in a hammock. At least they get to pee off the side of the side of the mountain and down 1000 ft..
Somehow I found peace in all of this and slept. Just for a little while though. Somewhere in there, I believe it was just after 5am, there was some screaming going on about the sleeping arrangements. Apparently the Noner had slid down about halfway down the bed and was completely under the covers and sideways or something. Not really sure, my cognitive abilities were not available to me. I was in an ancient state, pure animal instincts at that point.
I sat up and was all like, "WTF IS GOING ON?"
I got a quick explanation from the little viking, and I sprung into action. I think I exclaimed "get your ass up here to the top of the bed goddamn it."
The response I got was that it was perfectly acceptable for her to be sideways and under the covers and not sleeping in an acceptable manner... but it was explained in a way bothered me, so I explained that if they slept in their own f'in beds there wouldn't be these problems and I would be able to sleep peaceably. There was some crying and then she disappeared. I plopped down and was about to fall fast asleep when I realized that there were only 2 of us in the bed at this point and I should have a hell of a lot of room available to me. I noticed that there was about an acre of space on the other side of the little viking, so I shoved her over to the other side and stretched out. I was sweet.
I slept until after 9... pretty sweet, huh???
Not really, I woke with a splitting headache and an overall unpleasant feeling...
Bitch and moan, bitch and moan, I know... I don't like it any better than you do. Holy shit... now its noon... I gotta get rolling... I better get to my point...
I think my point is... Goddamn it is noisy in the house today... I am confused and think I will take a shower and cry so no one will see my tears... that's all...
posted by Catfish at 12:03 PM
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