It's more a question of feeling than it is a question of fun

The house is quiet now, except for the Smiths, which I find soothing music to blog to. Meat is Murder, as a matter of fact.
I am alone, is what I mean to say. But that's not really true either. I am the only human in the house. Wife is off practicing some beautiful duet of some sort with her friend, then off to school with her. The kids are in school and I haven't had a call from the nurse telling me that the little viking misses her ma and pa, at least not yet.
I am the only human (see above) but I have the pleasant company of two cats and two dogs. The dogs, Chewie and Yoda, they hang out here during the day, licking each other, sleeping and occasionally coming to check on me. The Cats, who are apparently called Archie and Frankie, are around here somewhere. I am trying to hate them since they are cats and all, but when noone is looking I will actually pet them. One of them will come along eventually to harass me, try to sit on my lap or next to me, staring and trying to be adorable and shit...
But, for the sake of argument, and irregardless of what I just said, lets say the house is quiet and I am alone.
OK, fuck it... I lost it now... I have switched to the Arctic Monkeys and am gonna just freestyle it, OK? Will that be ok with you?
Lets go into Random Mode:

I want one of those! No, not the chick, the thing she is holding, and to be outside, by a lake, with it... I want to be happy, outside with a tiny little PC. Someone go and get me one...
*********
Hey, Sunshine (sorry, don't have a nickname for you so I am gonna use your real name, hope that doesn't blow your cover). Hey, though, listen to the Arctic Monkeys. For real. I can hook you up if you want. They say things like this:
Now then Mardy Bum
I see your frown
And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there's a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer

It's one thats laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was, up up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That some day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on
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When me and my lovely wife were first married, and maybe even before that, we used to go to bed at night. It was a ritual, we would go to bed together every night. And I would lay there on my back, and she would cuddle up on me, put her head on my chest, I would have my arm around her, and it was very pleasant. She would pet me, just all gentle and loving like, you dig, and we would lay there. Oh, and we would talk, and I would tell her stories. I had a ton of them back then. I would lay there and maybe I would ask her if she wanted to hear a story or maybe she would ask me to tell her a story, I don't remember, but somewhere in there I would make up a story for her. She would be very quiet and just listen and we would lay there. I am trying to remember how it goes, but I think it was something like this...
Once there was this worm. He was a happy little worm, all wiggling around and digging through the dirt. To get through the dirt the little worm would open his little mouth and just start eating, and out the other end would come worm poop. This is pretty normal and all, and worms all over the world are doing it. So this little worm was happy and just eating and moving through the good earth. Every once in a while he would find himself at the top of the dirt and would kinda wiggle here and there until he found a good spot to point his head downwards and start eating again, which, as you see, would move him down through the dirt. He did this, you know, day in and day out, getting nutrients from the the dirt and the poop that he would inevitably end up chomping through. Yeah, man, dirt, poop, old apples that fell on the ground, old playboys that some kid stole from his uncles collection and ended up burying so he wouldn't get caught, yeah, he chomped through them all... One day he happened to be chomping through this old dudes yard, which was still cool, cause he did good things for the lawn, aerated it and shit, you know... anyhow, we was chomping along and it started to rain. It made the ground hard to move through and he was getting way too moist. Worms like to be moist, but not too moist, understand? So he made his way to the top of the lawn and kind wiggled and wiggled and finally found himself off of the grass and onto the sidewalk. He saw some of his buddies there, they also wiggled out of the grass and onto the sidewalk.
There weren't nothing to do but wait it out, and try to stay out of puddles, he knew this. He saw one of his buddies crawl into a puddle and thought to himself, oh no! But he couldn't really say anything. Worms can't shout out like you and I do, so his buddy went into the puddle and was finding it hard to move so he just twisted around. Our worm, he was smart and stayed out of the puddles, and just kinda layed there, waiting for it to stop raining. Then some kid came and stomped on him. And he was dead.