Unicorns suck...

Actually, I dislike Unicorns. I only said that I was dreaming of unicorns and flowers and crap to set the mood, give you an idea of where I was coming from. It all reality unicorns kinda suck. They smell funny, they act all spoiled and prima donna like, you know, kinda dickish, for real... I have never gotten along with them.
Sometimes I wish I lived in a movie, one where I was a just and honest king, and there was a problem going on, the kingdom was rapidly losing all its virgins, coincidentally, around the same time, a couple of unicorns showed up... all the chicks in the kingdom were acting funny so I sent for a couple of them, to investigate, and they were all gushy and horny (or is it horny and gushy, hmmnnn) and they were trying to do it with me, but I was married to the most beautiful queen in the world (hey baby) so I resisted... So I sent some people out to capture the unicorns and bring them to me, but everyone I sent went into some strange, uh, thing, and couldn't capture the unicorns, so I went myself and as I got close to them they looked at me and try to work some magic on my and I got really really horny but I was used to it so their magic did not work on me, but I pretended it did and I got closer and closer to them and they had let their guard down and when I got close enough I whipped out my sword (the sharp shiny one, yo) and cut their horns off... then I poked them randomly around their bodies with my sword until they finally bleed to death or I hit some vital organ, whatever, you know, they die and shit, and I take their horns and go back to the castle and order is returned to the land and the virgins are safe and I randomly take the horns and aim them at my wife, like in the middle of the day, get her all excited, you know, randomly, until she starts getting pissed off and in the middle of the night she steals them and sneaks out of the castle and throws them in the river, down by the waterfall and they flow down river, over the waterfall and they end up getting stuck under the waterfall where noone can get to them... Oh, until one day some beavers chew down a couple trees and stop the water from flowing and the waterfall dries up and this young hot chick finds these funny looking horn shaped things and she grabs them and over time some random shit happens...
I guess the main point would be that in the movie I would slaughter the unicorns and shit... sticky bastards... it's not just that they stink but their social skills suck so you get annoyed with them really quick and have to try to find some way to get away from them without hurting their feelings... Well, I say bullshit to that anymore... I just walk away while they are talking or pretend I don't see them so I don't have to talk to them, or ...