Just thought I would say...
Wow, there has been a lot of activity here, and I feel bad that I haven't had anything to say... well, lets see if we can cure that...
Uhh, I was telling my dad about the big ass friggin' spider that I found in the tub, was trying to relate how really enourmous it was...
He asked me if it was a black spider, and I told him no, I think it was Oriental... heh, my wife almost blew snot out her nose at that, ahhh, we all had a good laugh, then we spent some time trying to remember the derogartoy term for Irish people, since it related to a story I had been telling... This was bad, since, you know, there were kids in the house and they might overhear as we go through the list of derogatory terms we could remember, which fortunately was pretty short, but still included some words that should not be used in front of the chirrens... anyhow, the conversation was lively and it occured to me, and actually, to be honest, had occured to be prior to this but I thought about it again...
I was all like, Hey, you know, some people take words pretty literally and shit... like if I say to 10 different people, in a crowded bar, Hey Asshole... right... so I bet that 8 out of the 10 don't really give a shit, 1 of the 10 has really low self esteem and takes it literally and feels feally bad about themselves, and the last dude, he would take it to heart and come on over to kick your ass...
Actually, I am probably full of shit... the problem is that I don't take anything literally. If some dude was pointing a gun at me and told me he was going to kill me, you know what? I wouldn't really believe him... I would figure he was joking or just fucking around or was trying to scare me... actually going to kill me? Nahhh...
I should probably work on that... 'cause it's all like, Hey baby, is anything wrong, and she says no and I don't take her literally so I figure there is probably something wrong... Or like, Hey, what's for dinner and she says soup and I'm all like, SOUP?!?!? and I don't really believe it...
So I diagnosed myself and got some back-up from the medical community that I have... wait for it... RLS... ok, so some of you are probably bored to death about hearing about this, but check it out anyhow... there are only 4 things you need to agree to to be diagnosed:
1. Do you have strange, weird, undescribable or painful sensations in a limb of other affected body part?
2. Does this sensation diminish with movement (although it may come back when you stop moving)? - this is the most important criterion.
3. Is it worse in the evening? (even if you have it all day, it's usually worse at night and before it was bad, it's almost always only at night)
4. Does it happen when at rest (in any way - but when you are relaxing body and or mind?
So here is the thing... at least with me... I don't know, but I think telling people I am all afflicted and shit and then they look me up and down and don't see anything but maybe me shifting in my chair or something, and they are all like, so what's wrong and I say, now get this, I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
Not like, oh, you know, my kidneys are turning to stone, or my foot it about to fall off, or I tiny worms are boring little holes in my spine and eventually my spinal cord is going to be fused together and I won't be able to ride mountain bikes anymore...
You know... It's not like someone like YOU could look at me and see the lesions forming on my eyeballs, or notice that I have this tremendous swelling in my gonads or continually shit myself... NO NO NO...
So, what's wrong? Oh, I feel uncomfortable and have to move my legs or arms... Oh, so you are just a big puss... Hey, I have a headache, maybe I have something... OHOH... my foot fell asleep... I think I am going to die...
Well, you know what I have to say to you about that??@? Screw you...
I feel uncomfortable... Ok, so how do I feel uncomfortable? Uh, well, I remember different things that were like this for short periods of time... This one time I grabbed this electric fence (cow punch) and got this big ol' jolt and I was all tingly for a while... or this one time I got stung by three wasps right on my neck all at the same time and ran around like I had, well, just got stung... Or this one time I was at a sexy butt competition and I had just won and this dude got all pissed and threw a bar stool at me and I ducked back just in time to not get hit and was all like WHOOOOOOOO....
It is like all those things... it tingles, it aches, it feels like there is something crawling through my muscles, sometimes it actually hurts....
HOLY SHIT, you poor dude... How long have you got to live??? Hey, screw you... I'm dying here... This is an actual fuckin medical condition you asshole... I could twitch at the wrong time and like, hit the gas instead of the break and end up going through a restaurant...
Oh, hey, did I mention... no I didn't, but check it out... People who get this fall into (typically) one of the following groups: Pregnant ladies, dudes with lesions on their spinal nerves, middle aged men, or anyone, actually... but I happen to fall into the Middle Aged group... YEAH BYOTHCES... you better recognize... I am middle age, on the downhill slide, I got nothing to lose, I am like a loose cannon or something so who knows what I am capable of.... BAM!!! That's just a warning...
So I got some drugs from the one Doc... Mirapex... it sucked... I did not like it, it made me agitated... (poor puss, is uncomfortable and agitated).... so they gave me some Clonazepam (klonopin) and I took that like candy for a while and it got all built up in my system and I really didn't care about shit and started talking all sorts of shit... I had no peaks and valleys, just a straight shooter, for real... I got all crazy and had to stop that shit too (actually, I stopped for a couple days and recently just took a couple so I could get to sleep...)... Oh, they gave this other shit when I complained, Neurontin... and I am going to be honest here, it does nothing for my RLS at all... but I have been taking them anyhow... I don't know why, they kinda mellow me out slightly... they are like, uh... you know those lemonheads? Yeah, lemonheads and super aspirin and chamomile all rolled together... I just sit here minding my own business and talk and shit... but I swear I am grounded in reality and it's all cool... It's like someone dropped some aspirin in my coke... that's all... plus I keep hoping it is magically going to do something... so far nothing...
So anyhow, I am going in for a sleep study in a couple weeks... electrodes, video camera's, the usual... it should be intersting, not sure what is going to come of it... but check it out... I am already feeling the tingle in my legs and arms and it is not even 10am yet... so since the 2 medicines they tried, called gaba something (gabba gabba hey) caused me all sorts of mental issues that the next step is to try something else... the mayo clinic has this whole thing worked out and they will probably give me some sort of Opiate or muscle relaxant next... hopefully it will be heroin...
So you must be wondering, at this point, what the fuck, he has been typing for like an hour now... whats the deal?
Well, the group I was in got disbanded, and there ain't noone here at the moment, I am surrounded by noone and I have nothing to do... or very little to do... I can make things for myself to do... like learn javascript... but really, I could walk out the door with all my shit right now and go anywhere I wanted and noone would say shit... I think I will surf the web or something... shoot...
Uhh, I was telling my dad about the big ass friggin' spider that I found in the tub, was trying to relate how really enourmous it was...
He asked me if it was a black spider, and I told him no, I think it was Oriental... heh, my wife almost blew snot out her nose at that, ahhh, we all had a good laugh, then we spent some time trying to remember the derogartoy term for Irish people, since it related to a story I had been telling... This was bad, since, you know, there were kids in the house and they might overhear as we go through the list of derogatory terms we could remember, which fortunately was pretty short, but still included some words that should not be used in front of the chirrens... anyhow, the conversation was lively and it occured to me, and actually, to be honest, had occured to be prior to this but I thought about it again...
I was all like, Hey, you know, some people take words pretty literally and shit... like if I say to 10 different people, in a crowded bar, Hey Asshole... right... so I bet that 8 out of the 10 don't really give a shit, 1 of the 10 has really low self esteem and takes it literally and feels feally bad about themselves, and the last dude, he would take it to heart and come on over to kick your ass...
Actually, I am probably full of shit... the problem is that I don't take anything literally. If some dude was pointing a gun at me and told me he was going to kill me, you know what? I wouldn't really believe him... I would figure he was joking or just fucking around or was trying to scare me... actually going to kill me? Nahhh...
I should probably work on that... 'cause it's all like, Hey baby, is anything wrong, and she says no and I don't take her literally so I figure there is probably something wrong... Or like, Hey, what's for dinner and she says soup and I'm all like, SOUP?!?!? and I don't really believe it...
So I diagnosed myself and got some back-up from the medical community that I have... wait for it... RLS... ok, so some of you are probably bored to death about hearing about this, but check it out anyhow... there are only 4 things you need to agree to to be diagnosed:
1. Do you have strange, weird, undescribable or painful sensations in a limb of other affected body part?
2. Does this sensation diminish with movement (although it may come back when you stop moving)? - this is the most important criterion.
3. Is it worse in the evening? (even if you have it all day, it's usually worse at night and before it was bad, it's almost always only at night)
4. Does it happen when at rest (in any way - but when you are relaxing body and or mind?
So here is the thing... at least with me... I don't know, but I think telling people I am all afflicted and shit and then they look me up and down and don't see anything but maybe me shifting in my chair or something, and they are all like, so what's wrong and I say, now get this, I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
Not like, oh, you know, my kidneys are turning to stone, or my foot it about to fall off, or I tiny worms are boring little holes in my spine and eventually my spinal cord is going to be fused together and I won't be able to ride mountain bikes anymore...
You know... It's not like someone like YOU could look at me and see the lesions forming on my eyeballs, or notice that I have this tremendous swelling in my gonads or continually shit myself... NO NO NO...
So, what's wrong? Oh, I feel uncomfortable and have to move my legs or arms... Oh, so you are just a big puss... Hey, I have a headache, maybe I have something... OHOH... my foot fell asleep... I think I am going to die...
Well, you know what I have to say to you about that??@? Screw you...
I feel uncomfortable... Ok, so how do I feel uncomfortable? Uh, well, I remember different things that were like this for short periods of time... This one time I grabbed this electric fence (cow punch) and got this big ol' jolt and I was all tingly for a while... or this one time I got stung by three wasps right on my neck all at the same time and ran around like I had, well, just got stung... Or this one time I was at a sexy butt competition and I had just won and this dude got all pissed and threw a bar stool at me and I ducked back just in time to not get hit and was all like WHOOOOOOOO....
It is like all those things... it tingles, it aches, it feels like there is something crawling through my muscles, sometimes it actually hurts....
HOLY SHIT, you poor dude... How long have you got to live??? Hey, screw you... I'm dying here... This is an actual fuckin medical condition you asshole... I could twitch at the wrong time and like, hit the gas instead of the break and end up going through a restaurant...
Oh, hey, did I mention... no I didn't, but check it out... People who get this fall into (typically) one of the following groups: Pregnant ladies, dudes with lesions on their spinal nerves, middle aged men, or anyone, actually... but I happen to fall into the Middle Aged group... YEAH BYOTHCES... you better recognize... I am middle age, on the downhill slide, I got nothing to lose, I am like a loose cannon or something so who knows what I am capable of.... BAM!!! That's just a warning...
So I got some drugs from the one Doc... Mirapex... it sucked... I did not like it, it made me agitated... (poor puss, is uncomfortable and agitated).... so they gave me some Clonazepam (klonopin) and I took that like candy for a while and it got all built up in my system and I really didn't care about shit and started talking all sorts of shit... I had no peaks and valleys, just a straight shooter, for real... I got all crazy and had to stop that shit too (actually, I stopped for a couple days and recently just took a couple so I could get to sleep...)... Oh, they gave this other shit when I complained, Neurontin... and I am going to be honest here, it does nothing for my RLS at all... but I have been taking them anyhow... I don't know why, they kinda mellow me out slightly... they are like, uh... you know those lemonheads? Yeah, lemonheads and super aspirin and chamomile all rolled together... I just sit here minding my own business and talk and shit... but I swear I am grounded in reality and it's all cool... It's like someone dropped some aspirin in my coke... that's all... plus I keep hoping it is magically going to do something... so far nothing...
So anyhow, I am going in for a sleep study in a couple weeks... electrodes, video camera's, the usual... it should be intersting, not sure what is going to come of it... but check it out... I am already feeling the tingle in my legs and arms and it is not even 10am yet... so since the 2 medicines they tried, called gaba something (gabba gabba hey) caused me all sorts of mental issues that the next step is to try something else... the mayo clinic has this whole thing worked out and they will probably give me some sort of Opiate or muscle relaxant next... hopefully it will be heroin...
So you must be wondering, at this point, what the fuck, he has been typing for like an hour now... whats the deal?
Well, the group I was in got disbanded, and there ain't noone here at the moment, I am surrounded by noone and I have nothing to do... or very little to do... I can make things for myself to do... like learn javascript... but really, I could walk out the door with all my shit right now and go anywhere I wanted and noone would say shit... I think I will surf the web or something... shoot...
Labels: big tuna texas, gaba gaba hay, time on my hands
posted by Catfish at 10:10 AM
<< Home