Cúchulainn, son of the great god Lugh of the Long Hand...
How many days do I need to go on about being tired? Apparently 1 more, at least. I slept like a log last night, a stealthy ninja log. You know, knees slightly bent, one eye closed, the other all squinty like, testicles hanging loose and free, one hand in a fist, the other covering my heart (to block any precision attacks)... Woke up this morning, leaping through the air towards the alarm. I am a finely tuned machine, you dig, cat like reflexes. I realized what I was doing just as I was reaching the alarm so just gave it a playful karate chop to turn it off... No need to destroy it...
But yeah, tired... really, only mentioned the above to work testicles into the conversation again. Heh, that's twice, eh... heh, 2 balls... HA!!!
**
Duffel bag dude on the bus seems to have disappeared. Strange how people that annoy me suddenly vanish... hmmnn...
so there was a void for perhaps a day, maybe two. Now that void has been filled. I am going to call her... Fanny Pack Lady. Although it is a complete misnomer...
I didn't quite notice her completely the other day, just from the waist up, she was wearing some camo pants and all I could see was this floating torso (she blended in with the background so well, you get the picture)... so this floating torso, it was orange and purple... it was confusing... the bottom half blended in so well and the top half stuck out soooo much... so anyhow, she had a backpack, and a fanny pack, and another fanny pack, and another fanny pack... 3 total... but they weren't really near her fanny (she is not the type of gal I would say has a fanny)... they were kinda hung here and there, kinda like goat stomachs filled with water and hung off a camels hump... very much like that... I swear that 2 of them were hung vertical?!?!? kinda up and down, not side to side...
Oh, she had headphones on and was making noise like she agreed or something... loud though... like she couldn't hear herself over the sound in the headset so she had to agree real loud like...
Oh, and she had a snaggletooth... the kind of snaggle tooth that makes you kinda duck when you see it because it looks like it is going to shoot out of their mouth like a, uh, flying tooth or spear or some other object that would poke you in the eye, but is really gross, not like a spear dipped in poison but more like a dirty snaggletooth...
So, really, fanny packs are the devil, and if you somehow find the need for 3 fanny packs, well, you are an idiot. Sorry, sorry, I hate to make such strong judgements like that, but it needed to be said. If you have enough stuff to carry with you that you need 3 fanny packs to carry it, well, dammit, don't use 3 fanny packs. 2 fanny packs? No. Not even 1. I can think of maybe 1 reason why anybody would need a fanny pack, and most of those involve nudist colonies... whole colonies of nude people... Dammit, throw the shit in a grocery bag or something...
Anyhow, she has these multiple fanny packs hanging off of her, a back pack, snaggle tooth, poor posture, a mustache, uhh... lumps...
She just kinda throws herself into these random sitting postures... it is amazing... like a big bag of turds kinda pickin' itself up and then tossing itself back down... exactly like that...
It was amazing today, the sausage was in his usual seat, and snaggletooth was sitting across the aisle from him... there was like this force field of ugg... or was it oog... and they both talked... there was this traffic, some sort of accident, and for some reason snaggletooth had to tell everyone 3 or 4 times that there was a bad accident and other random crap and the sausage made sound effects of cars hitting each other and I swear at one point he said "bombs away" and a whistling sound to go with it... I realized at that point that I was either not retarded at all myself, or was completely retarded and just happened to be on the short bus...
**
Dude... the devil child that lives next door... she is seriously evil and completely mental and perhaps even part something else, something completely mental and evil but not easily defined... She is not quite the daughter of the devil, more like the result of a union between a lesser demon and a frog... or a lettuce leaf... yes, like a evil lettuce leaf... It is going to be a long summer if she keeps showing up on my porch... No matter what she sees in our house she wants... she was all complaining about smelling something weird (yeah, like our house could EVER possibley smell worse than THEIR house) and so one of the girls told her it was pizza she was all like, oh, I want some, I want some, I want some... I told her to leave...
Then there was something so very similar to that, basically they had something and she wanted it too... or she wanted them to give her something, I don't know, it goes on and on... and we could argue for days on this, if you really wanted, but in a nutshell I believe she is evil, I don't like her, she makes my skin crawl when she comes by and I will spend the entire summer telling her to go away/get off my porch/get out/no you can't have any/stop asking to see my daughters underwear/turn off the water/and generally go to hell... she is not evil like a vampire or demon, she is evil like a storm cloud or pond scum...
I have strong feelings about this...
**
You know what would be cool? If hail, like the stuff that comes out of the sky, was magical or something, didn't just come from atmospheric conditions and the like, but could appear anywhere... just out of the blue. Like you are sitting in the crapper and suddenly you start getting pelted by hail... or watching a basketball game and all of a sudden all this hail starts and they have to stop the game until it is over and then squeegie the court... and instead of being a bad thing you would be all like, Yeah!!! Hail, allright!!! and start hi-fivin' each other and shit... and it could be in many colors, like a big homo rainbow, but it would be hail... homo hail...
***
Listen to:
Kix: Blow my Fuse
The Decemberists: The Tain (all of it)(not The Taint, that is a completely different song)
Morrisey: Live at Earls Court
and since you have internet access check this out:
ART
Random Identity Generator
But yeah, tired... really, only mentioned the above to work testicles into the conversation again. Heh, that's twice, eh... heh, 2 balls... HA!!!
**
Duffel bag dude on the bus seems to have disappeared. Strange how people that annoy me suddenly vanish... hmmnn...
so there was a void for perhaps a day, maybe two. Now that void has been filled. I am going to call her... Fanny Pack Lady. Although it is a complete misnomer...
I didn't quite notice her completely the other day, just from the waist up, she was wearing some camo pants and all I could see was this floating torso (she blended in with the background so well, you get the picture)... so this floating torso, it was orange and purple... it was confusing... the bottom half blended in so well and the top half stuck out soooo much... so anyhow, she had a backpack, and a fanny pack, and another fanny pack, and another fanny pack... 3 total... but they weren't really near her fanny (she is not the type of gal I would say has a fanny)... they were kinda hung here and there, kinda like goat stomachs filled with water and hung off a camels hump... very much like that... I swear that 2 of them were hung vertical?!?!? kinda up and down, not side to side...
Oh, she had headphones on and was making noise like she agreed or something... loud though... like she couldn't hear herself over the sound in the headset so she had to agree real loud like...
Oh, and she had a snaggletooth... the kind of snaggle tooth that makes you kinda duck when you see it because it looks like it is going to shoot out of their mouth like a, uh, flying tooth or spear or some other object that would poke you in the eye, but is really gross, not like a spear dipped in poison but more like a dirty snaggletooth...
So, really, fanny packs are the devil, and if you somehow find the need for 3 fanny packs, well, you are an idiot. Sorry, sorry, I hate to make such strong judgements like that, but it needed to be said. If you have enough stuff to carry with you that you need 3 fanny packs to carry it, well, dammit, don't use 3 fanny packs. 2 fanny packs? No. Not even 1. I can think of maybe 1 reason why anybody would need a fanny pack, and most of those involve nudist colonies... whole colonies of nude people... Dammit, throw the shit in a grocery bag or something...
Anyhow, she has these multiple fanny packs hanging off of her, a back pack, snaggle tooth, poor posture, a mustache, uhh... lumps...
She just kinda throws herself into these random sitting postures... it is amazing... like a big bag of turds kinda pickin' itself up and then tossing itself back down... exactly like that...
It was amazing today, the sausage was in his usual seat, and snaggletooth was sitting across the aisle from him... there was like this force field of ugg... or was it oog... and they both talked... there was this traffic, some sort of accident, and for some reason snaggletooth had to tell everyone 3 or 4 times that there was a bad accident and other random crap and the sausage made sound effects of cars hitting each other and I swear at one point he said "bombs away" and a whistling sound to go with it... I realized at that point that I was either not retarded at all myself, or was completely retarded and just happened to be on the short bus...
**
Dude... the devil child that lives next door... she is seriously evil and completely mental and perhaps even part something else, something completely mental and evil but not easily defined... She is not quite the daughter of the devil, more like the result of a union between a lesser demon and a frog... or a lettuce leaf... yes, like a evil lettuce leaf... It is going to be a long summer if she keeps showing up on my porch... No matter what she sees in our house she wants... she was all complaining about smelling something weird (yeah, like our house could EVER possibley smell worse than THEIR house) and so one of the girls told her it was pizza she was all like, oh, I want some, I want some, I want some... I told her to leave...
Then there was something so very similar to that, basically they had something and she wanted it too... or she wanted them to give her something, I don't know, it goes on and on... and we could argue for days on this, if you really wanted, but in a nutshell I believe she is evil, I don't like her, she makes my skin crawl when she comes by and I will spend the entire summer telling her to go away/get off my porch/get out/no you can't have any/stop asking to see my daughters underwear/turn off the water/and generally go to hell... she is not evil like a vampire or demon, she is evil like a storm cloud or pond scum...
I have strong feelings about this...
**
You know what would be cool? If hail, like the stuff that comes out of the sky, was magical or something, didn't just come from atmospheric conditions and the like, but could appear anywhere... just out of the blue. Like you are sitting in the crapper and suddenly you start getting pelted by hail... or watching a basketball game and all of a sudden all this hail starts and they have to stop the game until it is over and then squeegie the court... and instead of being a bad thing you would be all like, Yeah!!! Hail, allright!!! and start hi-fivin' each other and shit... and it could be in many colors, like a big homo rainbow, but it would be hail... homo hail...
***
Listen to:
Kix: Blow my Fuse
The Decemberists: The Tain (all of it)(not The Taint, that is a completely different song)
Morrisey: Live at Earls Court
and since you have internet access check this out:
ART
Random Identity Generator
posted by Catfish at 10:30 AM
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