all that you will hear, just the sound of my voice darlin'

Talk like a Pirate day my Aarsss... heh, Aarghgh...
My Pirate name is Captain SaltyCawk...
I was going to be Seaman saltyCawk, but I decided to rise to the occassion.
Heh...
*
Yesterday, when I got on the bus in the morning, I was about to rip the driver a new "A" hole. I got to the busstop on time, I kept MY side of the bargain, but then the prickhole shows up late, again... So I had my "A" hole ripper out and was about to do my art when I noted that the whole right side of the bus was taken up with chitty chitty bang bang or something... I sat down. I recognized. It was this wheel chair type thing, you know the ones, not like the little rascals, they are like recliners with 6 wheels and this joystick, like the person sitting in one is not so much crippled as much as just lazy... AND, in addition to this big ass rolling recliner, they had I something like 6 different duffle bags and shit hanging off the back... Every time we hit a bump or came to a stop the back of the chair looked like it was about to snap off, way overloaded... I was mesmerized, I was all like, what in the world (for real)... So I was looking at the perps. I had seen them before, one afternoon last week when the bus was running late they were also on it... There were 2 of them, a dude and a chick. The chick looked like maybe she was blind, for two reasons, one is that she had this kinda blank look on her face like her eyes wouldn't focus on anything, the other is because the dude was so friggin ugly, but more on him later... So this chick, the whole ride into Seattle, was combing her hair, just pieces of it, though... she had a hand full of hair and just kept running this little black comb through it... over and over and over and over... I figured out that she could see cause I saw her look at something, but the rest of the time it was like she couldn't be bothered to pay attention... She was a low talker..
The dude, he was ugly (with a capital U, except he sucked so hard I didn't want to waste the time pressing the shift key)... His eyes were all over the place, different directions... for a minute I thought he was looking at me cause 1 eye was in my general direction, although the other wasn't, then it was and the other wasn't, then neither were, but then both were but not at the same time... but his nose was pointing at me... He was all over the chick, the type of guy that you see that has to put his arm around his property even though it means his arm is all uncomfortable and he can't actually reach around her. So she would talk and he would put his face right up against hers, then he would talk into her ear, but not like at a whisper, just normal, and she wouldn't flinch...
So we were bouncing around and she was whispering and he was talking into her ear (DUDE, the talked nonstop the whole trip...) when the dude suddenly grabbed the rail and pulled himself up and reached around to get a bus schedule and something looked really strange about him... then I realized HE DIDN'T HAVE A LEG!!! or HE ONLY HAD 1 LEG!!! or ONE OF HIS LEGS WAS GONE!!! at the knee... Normally I wouldn't think nothin' of it, but he was so strange that this was just too much, not literally, but you get my drift. I just sat there and stared... first at the chair, then the chick combing her hair, then the dude and the spot where the rest of his leg should be, then up to the dudes eyes (all over the place) then over to the chicks face (completely blank) and over to the multitude of bags...
**Side note: ok, so people are people and we all need to get places, and some people don't have cars, but where the hell? When you are like crippled enough to need a motorized chair and also need to carry everything you own with you, where the hell are you going? I am really not thinking too hard about this because I am afraid of the answer for some reason**
So I was getting dizzy looking at these folks, and I wanted in the worse way to scooch over and engage them... Have you ever seen anything or anyone so fucked up that you want to sit down like some sort of scientist and like interview them or something? I wanted to crawl into their heads, sit down to coffee somewhere and after some idle chit chat get right to the nitty gritty and say, ok, so what the fuck?
But I didn't...
Oh, today the snaggletooth spoke. You know that ex con construction dude I mentione (apparently his name is Alberto or he stole Albertos jacket), well he has this buddy on the bus, chicano dude, looks like an ex con also, but probably was just a misunderstanding. Anyhow, this dude was sitting next to the snaggletooth and he made small talk or something and SHE STARTED FLIRTING with him... it was wild... she was all giggling and shit, hit him on the arm a couple times, was letting the light glint off her snaggle, you know, all the typical things that like normal girls would do... and here she was, acting like a regular girl... dude was all like, Oh, shit... he pulled his cap down over his eyes and pretended to fall asleep... she tried to keep talking and stuff, did everything but puff up her tail and stick her ass in his face (thank goodness it never got that far) and he just hid... she copied him, pulled her hat down, pulled up her hood, pulled another hood on top of that, rested her arms across one of her many fannypacks and nodded off...
**
I miss my old lady... seems like we are always a million miles apart...
Selah...