Probably the purest (and best kind) of crap on the market
The more and more I think, and think that I have gotten to some sort of intellectual peak or understanding, you know, feeling centered and aware, I look back and think about how I thought the exact same thing before... and I was wrong, or something...
I don't know what I am trying to say, except that I believe, that in the past, I had my head up my ass, and now I do not, but tomorrow I may look back and decide that I did (do) have my head up my ass (right now) but not any more (tomorrow)...
**
OK, random musical interlude...
So my old lady mentions that there is some hella good metal coming out still, not like Audioslave (really, Soundgarden rocked for a while but then everything ended up sounding exactly the same as everything else they did, and Rage Against the Machine was always fantastic, but the combo just doesn't cut it... sorry fella's) so I started looking around a bit...
Dude, so far I found Wolfmother and The Black Keys and I am very pleased... I mean, holy shit, why didn't someone mention this to me before...
I have seriously been diggin on Iron Maiden lately, Kix, Scorpions, Judas Priest (whoa!!!) and stuff... so I am quite happy to find something that doesn't suck and hopefully won't turn into some sort of W.A.S.P. or Saxon type adventure...
Sublime, damn, did they ever do anything that didn't totally rock and make me want to hump someone in the back of a van? I don't think so... Slow ride, Caress Me Down, KRS-one, 40oz to freedom, damn...
Morrissey, for real dude, I have probably 8000 Morrissey/smiths songs on my Zen right now, same songs over and over, some live, some covers, damn...
If I ever get in the mood to sing in front of people there are really only a couple artists that I am willing to even attempt... The Tragically Hip - Grace, Too... TLC - Creep... Morrissey - Let me kiss you, Friday Mourning, The world is full of Crashing Bores... eh, maybe there are a few others, but it doesn't really matter... the chances of there being a song I am willing to sing, in a place I am willing to sing it, on a night that I am willing to sing, being in the correct mood and such, is highly unlikely... so I am just saying, you know, there you go...
OH NEKO... She seems lonely, I am sure she would probably enjoy my company... I would probably try to convert her to being a meat eater, perhaps she would try to change me... oh, who knows what could happen... We could sit on the couch with our feet on the coffee table, looking at the ice in our glasses, thinking of things to say to each other, but ultimately just being comfortable in each others prescence... she would ask if my wife would mind if she kissed me, my wife would say that would be fine if she kissed her first, and we would all end up kissing each other, and I would be the hero for bringing this on, "thank you" they would mouth at me, eyes all a sparkle and I would just give a nod, "no" I would say, "thank you"... then I would put on my leather jacket and ride off into the hot summer night... I am pretty sure that is how it would go down...
***
I have something like 10 shopping days until xmas, actually less than that, lets call it 2... ok, so 2 days that I could perhaps somehow go out shopping... although I don't really have to, but feel that I should get something a little more for my wife... not like a tennis bracelet to go with the diamond ring type of something, no... more like something so she has more than 1 present to open while I sit there with the 50 presents that she had to get for me because things just kept popping up and the limits that we set for ourselves (or say we are going to set for ourselves) never actually happen... so I want to get her something so she is not just sitting there with one present because she really deserves 50 or 60 of them...
Dude, everytime I see one of those Jesus is the reason for the season signs I start to feel the rage... Really, it just drives me nuts... Jesus is the reason for what season? The general mid to end of december season? The general everyone else is also apparently having a holiday around this time also season? It gets me because if them people that have them signs really meant it xmas would be nothing like it is now. Wouldn't be about shopping and parties and shit... really doesn't mention any of that in the bible from what I have heard, and I am sure I would have been slapped in the face with it if it really did say to go and buy a xmas tree and put a shitload of gifts underneath it and treat yourself cause you deserve it... So really, jebu has nothing to do with this, you dig... so that would bring me to the whole apart from jehu thing... where everyone seems to go friggin insane buying shit... really... there is no good reason for getting up and standing in line at 3 or 4 in the morning, serious... you say it is to save money and get the good deals, bullshit... not when you end up spending $2000 and you STILL going out shopping after that... it is friggin herd mentality... and noone is really happy during the shopping season, but of grumpy bastards... ahh, it is getting me all pissy... I read about this dude that got all wrapped up in the shopping and spending and shit and was being a total prick and was up all night xmas eve wrapping and drinking and shit then come xmas morning he like freaked out and when all nuts on his family and ended up going to jail and the judge that sentenced him is making him be nice AND take his family on a cruise or some such shit, because you know, if you ruin the day of jesus your sins can be erased by spending a large some of money to buy off your families love... or it may have been an urban legend, who knows...
and I just ate a airborne lozenge thing that tastes like stale old cat... or a moldy house with cats in it... or a old moldy house with a wool blanket in the closet that a cat has been laying on for a long time, and the cat it old and I hate cats...
***
I am such a smooth operator... for real... I am super smooth at about midnight or so, after I have already been asleep for a few hours and my old lady finally comes to bed completely exhausted from doing all the stuff that she does... directly out of a REM state I am in the sexy astral zone... pure carnal, like in brother bear when the indian dude is fighting the bear in the end but the bear is really his brother and there is some other bears and some sort of ghosty spiritual thing happens and then the brother decides to stay as a bear and the other indian decides to accept him as he is and they are suddenly very powerful and everyone understands... exactly like that... and am like pure sex in horny spirit form...
This is not always so great... I mean it is, you know, cause I tingle down there, but like, sometimes, when I am on the bus and start kinda dozing and then someone gets on at one of the stops and they try to sit next to me and I kinda wake up and the start putting the moves on some random stranger because it is in my nature... kinda akward, you know...
once I fell asleep at the dentists office because they were pumping me full of nitrous oxide and I woke up when they started rubbing my nipple through my shirt and like, had their pants down around their ankles in like 10 seconds before I realized that it was not appropriate (and they explained they were just playing with my nipples to stimulate my breathing)...
The worse part is that I am always tired since I get up at 4am all the time so I am almost always in a sleepy state and people can sense it so they are always walking by my desk to say hi and stuff and they are always licking their lips like they want some yummy from me...
But I always keep it in check, always, baby, you dig... its dificult and painful "down there" to keep denying people all the time... but I know it is for the best...
I don't know what I am trying to say, except that I believe, that in the past, I had my head up my ass, and now I do not, but tomorrow I may look back and decide that I did (do) have my head up my ass (right now) but not any more (tomorrow)...
**
OK, random musical interlude...
So my old lady mentions that there is some hella good metal coming out still, not like Audioslave (really, Soundgarden rocked for a while but then everything ended up sounding exactly the same as everything else they did, and Rage Against the Machine was always fantastic, but the combo just doesn't cut it... sorry fella's) so I started looking around a bit...
Dude, so far I found Wolfmother and The Black Keys and I am very pleased... I mean, holy shit, why didn't someone mention this to me before...
I have seriously been diggin on Iron Maiden lately, Kix, Scorpions, Judas Priest (whoa!!!) and stuff... so I am quite happy to find something that doesn't suck and hopefully won't turn into some sort of W.A.S.P. or Saxon type adventure...
Sublime, damn, did they ever do anything that didn't totally rock and make me want to hump someone in the back of a van? I don't think so... Slow ride, Caress Me Down, KRS-one, 40oz to freedom, damn...
Morrissey, for real dude, I have probably 8000 Morrissey/smiths songs on my Zen right now, same songs over and over, some live, some covers, damn...
If I ever get in the mood to sing in front of people there are really only a couple artists that I am willing to even attempt... The Tragically Hip - Grace, Too... TLC - Creep... Morrissey - Let me kiss you, Friday Mourning, The world is full of Crashing Bores... eh, maybe there are a few others, but it doesn't really matter... the chances of there being a song I am willing to sing, in a place I am willing to sing it, on a night that I am willing to sing, being in the correct mood and such, is highly unlikely... so I am just saying, you know, there you go...
OH NEKO... She seems lonely, I am sure she would probably enjoy my company... I would probably try to convert her to being a meat eater, perhaps she would try to change me... oh, who knows what could happen... We could sit on the couch with our feet on the coffee table, looking at the ice in our glasses, thinking of things to say to each other, but ultimately just being comfortable in each others prescence... she would ask if my wife would mind if she kissed me, my wife would say that would be fine if she kissed her first, and we would all end up kissing each other, and I would be the hero for bringing this on, "thank you" they would mouth at me, eyes all a sparkle and I would just give a nod, "no" I would say, "thank you"... then I would put on my leather jacket and ride off into the hot summer night... I am pretty sure that is how it would go down...
***
I have something like 10 shopping days until xmas, actually less than that, lets call it 2... ok, so 2 days that I could perhaps somehow go out shopping... although I don't really have to, but feel that I should get something a little more for my wife... not like a tennis bracelet to go with the diamond ring type of something, no... more like something so she has more than 1 present to open while I sit there with the 50 presents that she had to get for me because things just kept popping up and the limits that we set for ourselves (or say we are going to set for ourselves) never actually happen... so I want to get her something so she is not just sitting there with one present because she really deserves 50 or 60 of them...
Dude, everytime I see one of those Jesus is the reason for the season signs I start to feel the rage... Really, it just drives me nuts... Jesus is the reason for what season? The general mid to end of december season? The general everyone else is also apparently having a holiday around this time also season? It gets me because if them people that have them signs really meant it xmas would be nothing like it is now. Wouldn't be about shopping and parties and shit... really doesn't mention any of that in the bible from what I have heard, and I am sure I would have been slapped in the face with it if it really did say to go and buy a xmas tree and put a shitload of gifts underneath it and treat yourself cause you deserve it... So really, jebu has nothing to do with this, you dig... so that would bring me to the whole apart from jehu thing... where everyone seems to go friggin insane buying shit... really... there is no good reason for getting up and standing in line at 3 or 4 in the morning, serious... you say it is to save money and get the good deals, bullshit... not when you end up spending $2000 and you STILL going out shopping after that... it is friggin herd mentality... and noone is really happy during the shopping season, but of grumpy bastards... ahh, it is getting me all pissy... I read about this dude that got all wrapped up in the shopping and spending and shit and was being a total prick and was up all night xmas eve wrapping and drinking and shit then come xmas morning he like freaked out and when all nuts on his family and ended up going to jail and the judge that sentenced him is making him be nice AND take his family on a cruise or some such shit, because you know, if you ruin the day of jesus your sins can be erased by spending a large some of money to buy off your families love... or it may have been an urban legend, who knows...
and I just ate a airborne lozenge thing that tastes like stale old cat... or a moldy house with cats in it... or a old moldy house with a wool blanket in the closet that a cat has been laying on for a long time, and the cat it old and I hate cats...
***
I am such a smooth operator... for real... I am super smooth at about midnight or so, after I have already been asleep for a few hours and my old lady finally comes to bed completely exhausted from doing all the stuff that she does... directly out of a REM state I am in the sexy astral zone... pure carnal, like in brother bear when the indian dude is fighting the bear in the end but the bear is really his brother and there is some other bears and some sort of ghosty spiritual thing happens and then the brother decides to stay as a bear and the other indian decides to accept him as he is and they are suddenly very powerful and everyone understands... exactly like that... and am like pure sex in horny spirit form...
This is not always so great... I mean it is, you know, cause I tingle down there, but like, sometimes, when I am on the bus and start kinda dozing and then someone gets on at one of the stops and they try to sit next to me and I kinda wake up and the start putting the moves on some random stranger because it is in my nature... kinda akward, you know...
once I fell asleep at the dentists office because they were pumping me full of nitrous oxide and I woke up when they started rubbing my nipple through my shirt and like, had their pants down around their ankles in like 10 seconds before I realized that it was not appropriate (and they explained they were just playing with my nipples to stimulate my breathing)...
The worse part is that I am always tired since I get up at 4am all the time so I am almost always in a sleepy state and people can sense it so they are always walking by my desk to say hi and stuff and they are always licking their lips like they want some yummy from me...
But I always keep it in check, always, baby, you dig... its dificult and painful "down there" to keep denying people all the time... but I know it is for the best...
posted by Catfish at 11:00 AM
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