AK-47 is the tool. Don't make me act the mf'in fool
Busy,
Thats how I roll...
Seems that I haven't had time to do shit lately, at least here at this place where I spend all my time.
I need a hobby or something, like shooting guns or breaking into cars or something, something exciting and destructive. I think I am building up some rage or something, which I have never been able to figure out how to express in a professional manner. When I get to the breaking point it usually end up with me in tears, quietly sobbing into my sleeve and begging forgiveness for something. Maybe if I channel this into something like shooting at things something something something...
See, I was thinking that it would be fun to shoot at coffee cups. Yeah, really, coffee cups... for some reason, this vision I have involves blowing the hell out of coffee cups with a high powered handgun... shards of ceramics flying all over the place... maybe actually having coffee in the cups so coffee sprays all over. Oh, and the cups are on a log or a fence... Bam Bam Bam...
Let's see, oh, and I am wearin a muscle shirt and cut offs... of course the sun is out, and there are birds and chipmunks running around... I would typically think about shooting at them also, but wouldn't actually do it. I may be taking a nip or two out of a pint of Jim Beam, but maybe not... probably would, cause it is dusty out and my sinuses are getting all clogged and shit, and bourbon is a well known cure for this... very well known...
Bam Bam Bam
All sorts of coffee cups biting the dust, I seem to have an endless supply. Red ones and Green ones and ones with sunflowers on them, a couple that say "this is my mug" and have someones picture on them... I feel bad about shooting the green coffee cups because I like drinking coffee out of green coffee cups, but I shoot them anyway and I get over it.
Bam Bam Bam
The cops come by to see what the hell is going on. I explain to them that I am "just shooting a some coffee cups, officer, nothing to worry about..." and they go away because THEY understand... I watch them drive away and their cruiser throws up some dust, so I take another nip out of the bottle. I think about how I had thought about being a cop once upon a time, and how I am glad I didn't pursue it... I have this little bit of trouble with authority, you see... damn cops... I wish I had a coffee cup with a big sheriffs badge on it that I could shoot, a blue one with a gold badge... BAM
BAM BAM BAM
I am a terrible shot, but that is ok, cause when I finally DO hit one it explodes fiercely and gives me much satisfaction...
Yeah, that is how it would all work out... Bam Bam Bam
But, then, I don't really believe in guns, well, I secretly think they are exciting, kinda, but I don't see one in my future... thus the dream ends...
You know, maybe I should just go and beat up bums... walk around down here with a dollar bill hanging outta my pocket and wait for one of them to say something, like, hey, gimme a dollar, or spare some change, and then... and then... oh, this is exciting... and then, I would pull the dollar out and walk towards them and act like I am about to hand it to them and oops, dropped it, sorry, and when they go to pick it up, BAM, judo chop to the back of the neck, the BAM, a kick to the kidneys, maybe kick them in the nads a couple times, then, as they curl up into a little ball, I will fall on them and start hitting them about the head and shit... YEAH!!! Take that you dirty filthy homeless person!!! and I will pick up the dollar and walk away. I wouldn't spit at them, I think that would be rude, no need to be rude... but you know, giving them a good ass kicking might just pull them out of the funk they are in and help them on their way to being a productive member of society... maybe they will find me one day and thank me for showing them the way... how about that... I am like Ayn Rand or something.
Thats how I roll...
Seems that I haven't had time to do shit lately, at least here at this place where I spend all my time.
I need a hobby or something, like shooting guns or breaking into cars or something, something exciting and destructive. I think I am building up some rage or something, which I have never been able to figure out how to express in a professional manner. When I get to the breaking point it usually end up with me in tears, quietly sobbing into my sleeve and begging forgiveness for something. Maybe if I channel this into something like shooting at things something something something...
See, I was thinking that it would be fun to shoot at coffee cups. Yeah, really, coffee cups... for some reason, this vision I have involves blowing the hell out of coffee cups with a high powered handgun... shards of ceramics flying all over the place... maybe actually having coffee in the cups so coffee sprays all over. Oh, and the cups are on a log or a fence... Bam Bam Bam...
Let's see, oh, and I am wearin a muscle shirt and cut offs... of course the sun is out, and there are birds and chipmunks running around... I would typically think about shooting at them also, but wouldn't actually do it. I may be taking a nip or two out of a pint of Jim Beam, but maybe not... probably would, cause it is dusty out and my sinuses are getting all clogged and shit, and bourbon is a well known cure for this... very well known...
Bam Bam Bam
All sorts of coffee cups biting the dust, I seem to have an endless supply. Red ones and Green ones and ones with sunflowers on them, a couple that say "this is my mug" and have someones picture on them... I feel bad about shooting the green coffee cups because I like drinking coffee out of green coffee cups, but I shoot them anyway and I get over it.
Bam Bam Bam
The cops come by to see what the hell is going on. I explain to them that I am "just shooting a some coffee cups, officer, nothing to worry about..." and they go away because THEY understand... I watch them drive away and their cruiser throws up some dust, so I take another nip out of the bottle. I think about how I had thought about being a cop once upon a time, and how I am glad I didn't pursue it... I have this little bit of trouble with authority, you see... damn cops... I wish I had a coffee cup with a big sheriffs badge on it that I could shoot, a blue one with a gold badge... BAM
BAM BAM BAM
I am a terrible shot, but that is ok, cause when I finally DO hit one it explodes fiercely and gives me much satisfaction...
Yeah, that is how it would all work out... Bam Bam Bam
But, then, I don't really believe in guns, well, I secretly think they are exciting, kinda, but I don't see one in my future... thus the dream ends...
You know, maybe I should just go and beat up bums... walk around down here with a dollar bill hanging outta my pocket and wait for one of them to say something, like, hey, gimme a dollar, or spare some change, and then... and then... oh, this is exciting... and then, I would pull the dollar out and walk towards them and act like I am about to hand it to them and oops, dropped it, sorry, and when they go to pick it up, BAM, judo chop to the back of the neck, the BAM, a kick to the kidneys, maybe kick them in the nads a couple times, then, as they curl up into a little ball, I will fall on them and start hitting them about the head and shit... YEAH!!! Take that you dirty filthy homeless person!!! and I will pick up the dollar and walk away. I wouldn't spit at them, I think that would be rude, no need to be rude... but you know, giving them a good ass kicking might just pull them out of the funk they are in and help them on their way to being a productive member of society... maybe they will find me one day and thank me for showing them the way... how about that... I am like Ayn Rand or something.
posted by Catfish at 11:22 AM
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