I'm all crapped out...

This one time, about 15 years ago, maybe more, I was out drinking or something, and I was in Federal Way with some friends and we stopped at the Burger King and I had to take a wiz so I went into the bathroom and there were some punks in there but I didn't pay any attention to them, just went up to the urinal and started doing my thing, and all of a sudden one of the punks there said, Hey, there's a girl in here you know, and I looked over at them and realized that one of them was a chick, and I just shrugged my shoulders and kept on doing my thing and I was like, HEY, she's in the mensroom and this is what happens in the mensroom, it ain't like I would go into the mensroom and all of a sudden decide that I can't do the thing that you do in there just because some chick thought it would be funny to go in there, like, tee-hee, ain't I the adventurous and brave one, I am in the mens bathroom, tee-hee.
I think I thought of this because I just went into the mensroom here, right, and when you walk in the door there is this curtain hanging for some reason. When I went in the curtain was drawn all the way so I couldn't really take more than a step into the bathroom without having to draw the curtain back to get in... I mean, what the fuck? Someone standing at the door, say, a chick or something, wouldn't be able to see any of the good stuff without actually sticking her head in. You would have to physically stick your head in and LOOK around the corner just to see the area where the urinals are, right, and if you don't stick your head in and just kinda glance in you see the stalls... NOW, say someone had to take a crap and didn't want some random girl looking in and seeing them, well now, they would be IN the friggin' stall so basically not visible, except for their feet... AND the funny thing is, if this was the reasoning, that if you draw the curtains there is like 2 feet at the bottom, from the floor to the bottom of the curtain. So, even with the curtain drawn you can STILL see beneath the curtain to see, uh, 2 feet under the stall... So it accomplishes nothing... Actually, you know what it accomplishes??? It annoys the fuck out of me!!! Serious... I mean, you know my issues with using public facilities anyhow, I don't need any further obstacles to inhibit me further... Serious...
Uhh, I probably shouldn't, but I feel a need, along the same lines, to again apologize to the Strems for blowing out their toilet the other night... You see, for lunch I had had this Red Hot Shredded Beef and Bean Burrito that I got from the gas station down the road, and left on my desk for a couple hours before I ended up putting it in the fridge for a hour or so and ate it and shit... it was luscious... Anyhow, then I had a Grande Iced Americano on the way to the Strems hows... Then, AND THEN, we had fondue, which was really tasty, you know, but I think I focused too much on deep frying the cheese and little smokies... oh, and a couple Guinness... so my tummy was gurgling, you know, and I tried to sneak off to take care of it, but, I don't know, I was too conscious of the traffic on the other side of the door and the potential of being heard or something, couldn't focus, you know, couldn't get the job done... I tried one last time, thinking everyone was in the living room and it was real quiet and I was trying not to scream or grunt or anything, when, all of a sudden there is all these voices on the other side of the door... everyone was in the dining room setting up this game for us to play... so I had to abort the mission...
So we sit down to play this game, which involved interacting and shit, and drawing, which I suck at... and I am sitting there all sweating and my stomach would let out these huge rumbles and pops and stuff, and my mind was just not there... THEN... I had to get up and lean over the table to pick a card and Aaarrghghhh.... I tried to draw something, I think it was a hedgehog and something else, and all I don't know how to really draw a hedgehog, all I could think of was to draw some animal with a big dick on it, because, you know, Ron Jeremy is the hedgehog, but I figured I would be the only one that would get it, and after time ran out I jumped up, it was now or never, and never wasn't gonna wait... So I kinda nonchalant like slide into the bathroom, a good 3ft away from the table that everyone was gathered around... I tried to find something that would make a lot of noise, but couldn't find anything, so I just turned on the sink... it would have to do... I think it was enough... because I BLEW UP the toilet at that point... BAM!!! it is definitely ruined for normal people now... for real... and I felt MUCH better... I won't go into too much detail here, but let me say, I flushed once, but it wasn't enough, I flushed twice, and it still wasn't enough, but I was kinda self conscious at that point, that that flushing a third time would be TOO embarrassing, so I just grabbed some TP and kinda layered it in the toilet... slipped out of the bathroom kinda slick like and shut the door behind me... I apologized before we left, but really, felt I should offer up my apologies again... Hey, sorry about that!
I knew this one dude that liked to Poop in unusual situations... Like this one time, he climbed up to the top of this train trestle for the sole purpose of taking a crap off the top so it would fall like 50 ft to the ground... and this other time, we were at this party at this dudes house, and the dude was remodelling his house and there was this toilet sitting there in the corner that he was going to put in his new bathroom and this dude went over and took a dump in it, right there in the middle of the party... I think he crapped out of a moving car once... yeah...