Dammit,
Wrote like 1470 words of crap, all touchy feely emotional roller coaster type stuff where I spout off and interject amusing asides for balance, and the whole time I worry about how it is going to be received which makes me feel like a big puss... then I realized that, you know what, I can just delete it... mos of it can be summed up in a few words, and you know how I like to do that... in a nutshell:
Chuck Norris, Holden, death, myspace, change, hobbies, AAARGGGHHGHGH... ok, enough of that... damn...
**
so last night I dreampt about our friends, they just had a baby... so I dreampt that we went to see them and the baby was beautiful. We were all happy and the parents were proud. They decided to have another one, right away, and it was real fast... we went to see them, I was outside and it was dark out. The happy mother was up in the air like a firework, shooting up then she exploded. The sparks were all darks like black fire or something... I was all like, oh shit. So I went inside and everyone else was already in there and the new baby (a boy) was there. He was up on the top bunk of some bunkbeds (wtf) and was like already starting to hold himself up. He swung his head around when I came in. I could tell he was evil...
It was strange, cause one was good (Holden) and the other was obviously not good. And either noone else noticed or they wouldn't admit it and I couldn't really ask right then and there, you dig...
Then, of course, I was back at the old school, and couldn't remember my combo or what class I was supposed to be in, but I have been through that so many times that I didn't really care... then there was some girl that liked my, which I thought was cute, and nothing would come of it, but then she met me behind the gym and wanted to get to know me better, and kept running off, and every time she ran off I was like, hey, I gotta tell her I am married... Then I would think, do I really need to tell her? Then I was all like, yes, yes I do (I couldn't even get some on the side in my dreams)... so she comes back and goes and comes back and goes and I am all a big sucker and sitting there waiting for her and she finally comes back and says she just can't do this, she has a boyfriend and something or other... and I was all upset because I never got the chance to be noble... and I would have, even though it was taking me forever to get there...
Then, of course, I can't find my car, because I don't know which car I should be looking for, was it the VW or the Mustang II... I want it to be the VW, but then I remember I didn't have the VW in highschool and the Mustang is dead...
There is always an undertone of wanting to fight the power in these dreams, but never the opportunity to actually do it... because I know so much more now and think I got it all worked out so could totally fight the man, but it doesn't really matter and noone really cares... so I end up just wandering around...
It is funny, cause when I have time in these dreams I always think, hey, I should go find my old lady, I always want to find my wife when she was in highschool and fall in love with her... isn't that funny... I always assume she wouldn't give me the time of day if I did find her, but I know her so I could totally woo her or something... since I am so slick now...
**
I will say it again, Myspace is evil...Society at its worst... people left to their own devices with no real rules or consequences until they finally decide to "hook up" for rizzle and find out that they have no interpersonal skills and suddenly all that loved they shared isn't real... ahh, I could go on and on... but I will leave it at that, cause I gots better stuff to talk about...**THE SECOND COMING OF CHUCK NORRIS Chuck must be on his deathbed, because I met his embodiment this weekend... Holden!!! Dude is hard core!!!He came outta his mommas vaginis face up, so as not to be caught off guard. To test him the nurses took turn sticking needles in his feet and eyes and under his fingernails, but he wouldn't cry, not him... wouldn't make a sound, just burned holes of hate into the nurses...And his eyes, his eyes can see for miles and miles. You can tell, when he looks at you, he is looking into your sould, can sense your every weekness and is ready to kill you, should the need arise.But so far he has been benevolent, from what I hear he has not actually had to kill anyone yet, although he did break a nurses arm, just to put everyone on notice...I am a little worried, he looked at me, he knows I exist at this point, and I believe he may just be toying with me... I am living in fear that there will be a tiny knock on the door and when I open it... yep, death... ('cause: 1) death comes knockin. 2) Holden is polite and wants to look you in the eyes before he kills you, 3) it is probably not if but when)but seriously... went to see Holden on Sunday, and it was fantastic... good times...The Mother and the Father are happy, Holden is gorgeous, everything is shiny and new...It was weird... Mom decided she had to feed the baby for some reason, and so we all had to leave, which is cool, so the 4 of us in my family, and 4 in our friends family, and the Daddy all ended up in the cafeterium downstairs... I started thinking about the different times we (the adults) had all been in the same room, like 8 years ago, maybe more, first time I met my friends wife, they were just aquaintences then, I have a picture of my lovely wife from that night... we are so far away from that now... so totally far away from that... I am pretty sure that most of you know what I am talking about... well, maybe not...It was just strange, I traveled back to like 10 years ago, whatever, and there was just 5 of us... then back to the present, and there were 9 of us... and the world, as it exists, revolves around the littlest and youngest of us... You know... they are not outsiders, they are part of US... and, uh... damn, I don't know, something about having kids and getting older and stuff... not regretfull at all, just noticing things...***For the record, once again, I hate going in the mens room... I really really hate hearing grunting and straining coming from the stalls... aaarrghghgh...***Ok, here's the thing, I have been thinking lately about... me. Like, what do I want to do. Now, this is not midlife crisis, not yet, although I look forward to getting the hot car, and maybe some leather pants... it is more literal than that... I am seriously trying to think of something that I want to do... Say I take a day or two off, complete freedom, what do I want to do? Hell, I don't know... but it shouldn't be that hard. Damn, the only thing I can really think of is cooking. I have fond memories of spending the day in the kitchen making a pan of lasagna (noodles and everything) or cooking that fantastic friggin pork... yeah, I want to do that... but damn dude, there must be more to life than that... like shouldn't I want to do something outside the house? Bowling sounds fun, kinda, I guess, although I don't really think it is a destination, you dig... I like driving around, but it is always aimlessly, and the fam doesn't really seem to dig that (and if the noner is in the front seat I may go crazy, chick has the busiest hands in the world). Hell, I can sit here and name off half a million half assed things and not get any further ahead... Does this make any sense? Shouldn't I have some interests or hobbies or something? And when I really boil it down, you know what it is? I am scared of turning into my dad. I don't want to work and work and work and then have nothing outside that. I don't want to fill my "free" time with catching up on the things that need to get down but I hadn't gotten around to. But I can't think of anything to DO... I think I will try to incorporate my children into a "hobby" or something... they seem to be around all the time, so, you know, what the hell, may as well... maybe, like, teach them things, how to be good citizens or dial 911 or something... maybe we could take up firearms, so when the soviets start dropping paratroopers and we have to run to the hills to form a resistence, me and the children can snipe at the bad guys... eventually we will have to work out how to pee in a radiator when we run out of water, but I think if we focus on killing people with guns we should be ahead of the curve... So yeah, what about me... Customer service is/has ruining/ruined me... Back in the day, dude could scat, seriously talk some shit... now, after years of customers, I can't have any sort of in depth conversation any longer... small talk, sure... superficial vanilla blah blah, yeah, in my sleep... but man, I used to be able to sit down with people and actually talk about shit, I like to believe... could sit with people and have exchanges, discuss, yeah... now I have akward silences and when people talk I just listen, occasional have some spastic tourettes vocal diarrhea (spouting shit)... ahh shortcomings...Dude, I used to be taller... I used to be thinner... I used to drive a truck... I used to drink bourbon every night... heh, yeah... time to move ahead... I wish I felt sorry for myself or something, Pity me, Pity me... but I don't... I am just looking towards the future, while remembering the past and hoping to make myself better...Like by not eating food (heh, I almost spelled it fud) with high fructose corn syrup, which is the myspace of modified food products, pure evil and stupid... but yeah, so I am not going to be a nazi about it, but as I make decisions in my day about what to eat out of the vending machine, or somewhere, I will remember that I am not eating certain things, so will not buy it and thus maybe drop a few pounds, easy pounds... Drink more water... spend time with my kids, spend time with my wife, whom I love more than life itself, but worry that I am telling her I lover her too often, that she is cute too often and it is getting old... Dude, haven't smoked for like 3 months now, how about that... I CAN break habits... insert something about foolish consistencies here...Oh, hey, remember how I mentioned that I was going to write some cohesive collection of things and try to put them together like a story or something? yeah, never did that... hmmnnI know this dude, he is going to become am adult film producer... yeah, I may have to show him the ropes... angles and whatnot... how to get the proper angle of ball dangle... stuff like that... maybe do something kinky like put GIRLS in the films... yeah... I hear there is a big market for male on female action... I think in order it is something like, g on g, just g, b on g, pirates, then b on b with a girl in there somewhere, then b on b... yeah... something like that... If he wants I will consult for him... throw me a couple bones and put my name in the credits and we can call it good... call me**Ahh, holy moley, what was all that about... most likely fueled by coffee... all out of rage...
Wrote like 1470 words of crap, all touchy feely emotional roller coaster type stuff where I spout off and interject amusing asides for balance, and the whole time I worry about how it is going to be received which makes me feel like a big puss... then I realized that, you know what, I can just delete it... mos of it can be summed up in a few words, and you know how I like to do that... in a nutshell:
Chuck Norris, Holden, death, myspace, change, hobbies, AAARGGGHHGHGH... ok, enough of that... damn...
**
so last night I dreampt about our friends, they just had a baby... so I dreampt that we went to see them and the baby was beautiful. We were all happy and the parents were proud. They decided to have another one, right away, and it was real fast... we went to see them, I was outside and it was dark out. The happy mother was up in the air like a firework, shooting up then she exploded. The sparks were all darks like black fire or something... I was all like, oh shit. So I went inside and everyone else was already in there and the new baby (a boy) was there. He was up on the top bunk of some bunkbeds (wtf) and was like already starting to hold himself up. He swung his head around when I came in. I could tell he was evil...
It was strange, cause one was good (Holden) and the other was obviously not good. And either noone else noticed or they wouldn't admit it and I couldn't really ask right then and there, you dig...
Then, of course, I was back at the old school, and couldn't remember my combo or what class I was supposed to be in, but I have been through that so many times that I didn't really care... then there was some girl that liked my, which I thought was cute, and nothing would come of it, but then she met me behind the gym and wanted to get to know me better, and kept running off, and every time she ran off I was like, hey, I gotta tell her I am married... Then I would think, do I really need to tell her? Then I was all like, yes, yes I do (I couldn't even get some on the side in my dreams)... so she comes back and goes and comes back and goes and I am all a big sucker and sitting there waiting for her and she finally comes back and says she just can't do this, she has a boyfriend and something or other... and I was all upset because I never got the chance to be noble... and I would have, even though it was taking me forever to get there...
Then, of course, I can't find my car, because I don't know which car I should be looking for, was it the VW or the Mustang II... I want it to be the VW, but then I remember I didn't have the VW in highschool and the Mustang is dead...
There is always an undertone of wanting to fight the power in these dreams, but never the opportunity to actually do it... because I know so much more now and think I got it all worked out so could totally fight the man, but it doesn't really matter and noone really cares... so I end up just wandering around...
It is funny, cause when I have time in these dreams I always think, hey, I should go find my old lady, I always want to find my wife when she was in highschool and fall in love with her... isn't that funny... I always assume she wouldn't give me the time of day if I did find her, but I know her so I could totally woo her or something... since I am so slick now...
**
I will say it again, Myspace is evil...Society at its worst... people left to their own devices with no real rules or consequences until they finally decide to "hook up" for rizzle and find out that they have no interpersonal skills and suddenly all that loved they shared isn't real... ahh, I could go on and on... but I will leave it at that, cause I gots better stuff to talk about...**THE SECOND COMING OF CHUCK NORRIS Chuck must be on his deathbed, because I met his embodiment this weekend... Holden!!! Dude is hard core!!!He came outta his mommas vaginis face up, so as not to be caught off guard. To test him the nurses took turn sticking needles in his feet and eyes and under his fingernails, but he wouldn't cry, not him... wouldn't make a sound, just burned holes of hate into the nurses...And his eyes, his eyes can see for miles and miles. You can tell, when he looks at you, he is looking into your sould, can sense your every weekness and is ready to kill you, should the need arise.But so far he has been benevolent, from what I hear he has not actually had to kill anyone yet, although he did break a nurses arm, just to put everyone on notice...I am a little worried, he looked at me, he knows I exist at this point, and I believe he may just be toying with me... I am living in fear that there will be a tiny knock on the door and when I open it... yep, death... ('cause: 1) death comes knockin. 2) Holden is polite and wants to look you in the eyes before he kills you, 3) it is probably not if but when)but seriously... went to see Holden on Sunday, and it was fantastic... good times...The Mother and the Father are happy, Holden is gorgeous, everything is shiny and new...It was weird... Mom decided she had to feed the baby for some reason, and so we all had to leave, which is cool, so the 4 of us in my family, and 4 in our friends family, and the Daddy all ended up in the cafeterium downstairs... I started thinking about the different times we (the adults) had all been in the same room, like 8 years ago, maybe more, first time I met my friends wife, they were just aquaintences then, I have a picture of my lovely wife from that night... we are so far away from that now... so totally far away from that... I am pretty sure that most of you know what I am talking about... well, maybe not...It was just strange, I traveled back to like 10 years ago, whatever, and there was just 5 of us... then back to the present, and there were 9 of us... and the world, as it exists, revolves around the littlest and youngest of us... You know... they are not outsiders, they are part of US... and, uh... damn, I don't know, something about having kids and getting older and stuff... not regretfull at all, just noticing things...***For the record, once again, I hate going in the mens room... I really really hate hearing grunting and straining coming from the stalls... aaarrghghgh...***Ok, here's the thing, I have been thinking lately about... me. Like, what do I want to do. Now, this is not midlife crisis, not yet, although I look forward to getting the hot car, and maybe some leather pants... it is more literal than that... I am seriously trying to think of something that I want to do... Say I take a day or two off, complete freedom, what do I want to do? Hell, I don't know... but it shouldn't be that hard. Damn, the only thing I can really think of is cooking. I have fond memories of spending the day in the kitchen making a pan of lasagna (noodles and everything) or cooking that fantastic friggin pork... yeah, I want to do that... but damn dude, there must be more to life than that... like shouldn't I want to do something outside the house? Bowling sounds fun, kinda, I guess, although I don't really think it is a destination, you dig... I like driving around, but it is always aimlessly, and the fam doesn't really seem to dig that (and if the noner is in the front seat I may go crazy, chick has the busiest hands in the world). Hell, I can sit here and name off half a million half assed things and not get any further ahead... Does this make any sense? Shouldn't I have some interests or hobbies or something? And when I really boil it down, you know what it is? I am scared of turning into my dad. I don't want to work and work and work and then have nothing outside that. I don't want to fill my "free" time with catching up on the things that need to get down but I hadn't gotten around to. But I can't think of anything to DO... I think I will try to incorporate my children into a "hobby" or something... they seem to be around all the time, so, you know, what the hell, may as well... maybe, like, teach them things, how to be good citizens or dial 911 or something... maybe we could take up firearms, so when the soviets start dropping paratroopers and we have to run to the hills to form a resistence, me and the children can snipe at the bad guys... eventually we will have to work out how to pee in a radiator when we run out of water, but I think if we focus on killing people with guns we should be ahead of the curve... So yeah, what about me... Customer service is/has ruining/ruined me... Back in the day, dude could scat, seriously talk some shit... now, after years of customers, I can't have any sort of in depth conversation any longer... small talk, sure... superficial vanilla blah blah, yeah, in my sleep... but man, I used to be able to sit down with people and actually talk about shit, I like to believe... could sit with people and have exchanges, discuss, yeah... now I have akward silences and when people talk I just listen, occasional have some spastic tourettes vocal diarrhea (spouting shit)... ahh shortcomings...Dude, I used to be taller... I used to be thinner... I used to drive a truck... I used to drink bourbon every night... heh, yeah... time to move ahead... I wish I felt sorry for myself or something, Pity me, Pity me... but I don't... I am just looking towards the future, while remembering the past and hoping to make myself better...Like by not eating food (heh, I almost spelled it fud) with high fructose corn syrup, which is the myspace of modified food products, pure evil and stupid... but yeah, so I am not going to be a nazi about it, but as I make decisions in my day about what to eat out of the vending machine, or somewhere, I will remember that I am not eating certain things, so will not buy it and thus maybe drop a few pounds, easy pounds... Drink more water... spend time with my kids, spend time with my wife, whom I love more than life itself, but worry that I am telling her I lover her too often, that she is cute too often and it is getting old... Dude, haven't smoked for like 3 months now, how about that... I CAN break habits... insert something about foolish consistencies here...Oh, hey, remember how I mentioned that I was going to write some cohesive collection of things and try to put them together like a story or something? yeah, never did that... hmmnnI know this dude, he is going to become am adult film producer... yeah, I may have to show him the ropes... angles and whatnot... how to get the proper angle of ball dangle... stuff like that... maybe do something kinky like put GIRLS in the films... yeah... I hear there is a big market for male on female action... I think in order it is something like, g on g, just g, b on g, pirates, then b on b with a girl in there somewhere, then b on b... yeah... something like that... If he wants I will consult for him... throw me a couple bones and put my name in the credits and we can call it good... call me**Ahh, holy moley, what was all that about... most likely fueled by coffee... all out of rage...
posted by Catfish at 2:36 PM
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