grieving for the monkey
Aaarrghgh,
I have been tagged by the Sausage... Dammit!!! I got on the bus and there, right in front of the Sausage was an empty seat, I figured I would take it since he was sleeping and because I could then do a little Gorrilla's in the Mist action and spy on the snaggle tooth... I had some misgivings, but I knew the risks...
Someone coughed a couple times and I looked real quick to see if it was him and I needed to duck or something, it wasn't, he was sleeping like a baby...
Dammit, he lulled me into s false sense of security, I turned my back on him, started ignoring him... When we got to Seattle and the driver announced the stop I heard him start to stir, then it happened (AGAIN!!!)... He made like a HUMPH (with force) and he essence washed over me... right in my eye... right up my nose, direct line to my mucas membrane... DUDE, HE GOT SOME ON MY MOUTH... LIKE ON MY LIPS AND MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BIT INSIDE... I feel gross...
When I came to my senses, he was gone...
**
I was already a bit off,
I saw this big animal on the side of the road, just laying there, accross the road from where I stand...
It was large, furry, my god it looked like a monkey...
Damn, Monkey!!! Why?!? Why Monkey? Why did you have to DIE??? Stupid asshole monkey, I always hated you... and now, you are gone, or hopefully will be gone when I get off the bus this afternoon since you are right by the busstop I get off at... but, really, damn you... you weren't supposed to die, monkey... not like this... hit by some car or truck on 272nd st, Kent, WA 98001... magnificent pelt matted with blood, last thought going through your brain was probably something about pickin your ass, I bet... that is just like you... now you are just a dead monkey, sitting in monkey heaven, pickin your ass... isn't that what happens to good monkeys when they die? Monkey heaven? With a nice tree to climb, a firm branch to sit on, ample ass space to pick through, and other monkeys to pick the asses of...
I am happy for you, little monkey, and sad at the same time... You are in a better place, but I will miss you down here...
Stupid Monkey, why'd you have to go...
**
Dude, I had this thought the other day, don't put too much thought into it, yo, but imagine if all those magic 8 balls and fortune cookies and crap they put on chocolate wrappers and stuff, what if it was all true... Like when you get a fortune cookie and it says you have a wild sense of adventure (in bed, yo), what if it was always right... so whatever it said was true... you know... so they would not always be bullshit little phrases but something that actually pertained to your life... I would still open them (or shake them) as the case may be... just to see what it said... I imagine they would be pretty boring, like "you hate folding laundry" or "you are anal about loading the dishwasher" or "you have a fantastick cock", stuff like that... you know, normal everyday obvious stuff...
Damn, so you get done with a nice romantic dinner and the fortune cookies come, and your date opens hers and it says "he is going to try and get in your pants" and you open yours and it says "you are going home alone tonight" or "you will have crabs in the morning"... imagine how your life would change...
I am not talking about some magical Jim Carey movie type fairy movie... I am talking about how magic or whatever would adapt to the real world...
I suppose that if we wanted to go nuts we could imagine something like, uh, what if unicorns were real, and there were tons of them... suddenly they wouldn't be so special and phallic... they would be just like squirrels except with horns...
Or if there really was gold at the end of the rainbow, how worthless would gold be then? Damn, we would have to invent ways to give it away... or, if for some reason there was still a market for it, some sort of value, dude, imagine the weather reports, people would be all rabid waiting for rain, then running all over the friggin place to get to the end, wearing them australian hats and hackin' at each other with machettes and shit...
The only real benefit I could see from things like this happening would mean that there might be a slight bit less focus on my package, people might be distracted away from staring at it and whispering about it all the time, you know, since that is as close to magic as most people get... 'cause my package is magical, you know, my package... down THERE... sigh, come here, ok, now look me in the eyes, ok, now let your eyes travel down, keep going, a little bit further... THERE... you know, my magical "package"... ahh, now you get it.. heh, now you gonna get it... it'll be magic...
The magic eight ball says "you gonna get some tonight"
YOU: Magic eight ball, will it be fantastic?
MAGIC 8 BALL: It will be magical...
I have been tagged by the Sausage... Dammit!!! I got on the bus and there, right in front of the Sausage was an empty seat, I figured I would take it since he was sleeping and because I could then do a little Gorrilla's in the Mist action and spy on the snaggle tooth... I had some misgivings, but I knew the risks...
Someone coughed a couple times and I looked real quick to see if it was him and I needed to duck or something, it wasn't, he was sleeping like a baby...
Dammit, he lulled me into s false sense of security, I turned my back on him, started ignoring him... When we got to Seattle and the driver announced the stop I heard him start to stir, then it happened (AGAIN!!!)... He made like a HUMPH (with force) and he essence washed over me... right in my eye... right up my nose, direct line to my mucas membrane... DUDE, HE GOT SOME ON MY MOUTH... LIKE ON MY LIPS AND MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BIT INSIDE... I feel gross...
When I came to my senses, he was gone...
**
I was already a bit off,
I saw this big animal on the side of the road, just laying there, accross the road from where I stand...
It was large, furry, my god it looked like a monkey...
Damn, Monkey!!! Why?!? Why Monkey? Why did you have to DIE??? Stupid asshole monkey, I always hated you... and now, you are gone, or hopefully will be gone when I get off the bus this afternoon since you are right by the busstop I get off at... but, really, damn you... you weren't supposed to die, monkey... not like this... hit by some car or truck on 272nd st, Kent, WA 98001... magnificent pelt matted with blood, last thought going through your brain was probably something about pickin your ass, I bet... that is just like you... now you are just a dead monkey, sitting in monkey heaven, pickin your ass... isn't that what happens to good monkeys when they die? Monkey heaven? With a nice tree to climb, a firm branch to sit on, ample ass space to pick through, and other monkeys to pick the asses of...
I am happy for you, little monkey, and sad at the same time... You are in a better place, but I will miss you down here...
Stupid Monkey, why'd you have to go...
**
Dude, I had this thought the other day, don't put too much thought into it, yo, but imagine if all those magic 8 balls and fortune cookies and crap they put on chocolate wrappers and stuff, what if it was all true... Like when you get a fortune cookie and it says you have a wild sense of adventure (in bed, yo), what if it was always right... so whatever it said was true... you know... so they would not always be bullshit little phrases but something that actually pertained to your life... I would still open them (or shake them) as the case may be... just to see what it said... I imagine they would be pretty boring, like "you hate folding laundry" or "you are anal about loading the dishwasher" or "you have a fantastick cock", stuff like that... you know, normal everyday obvious stuff...
Damn, so you get done with a nice romantic dinner and the fortune cookies come, and your date opens hers and it says "he is going to try and get in your pants" and you open yours and it says "you are going home alone tonight" or "you will have crabs in the morning"... imagine how your life would change...
I am not talking about some magical Jim Carey movie type fairy movie... I am talking about how magic or whatever would adapt to the real world...
I suppose that if we wanted to go nuts we could imagine something like, uh, what if unicorns were real, and there were tons of them... suddenly they wouldn't be so special and phallic... they would be just like squirrels except with horns...
Or if there really was gold at the end of the rainbow, how worthless would gold be then? Damn, we would have to invent ways to give it away... or, if for some reason there was still a market for it, some sort of value, dude, imagine the weather reports, people would be all rabid waiting for rain, then running all over the friggin place to get to the end, wearing them australian hats and hackin' at each other with machettes and shit...
The only real benefit I could see from things like this happening would mean that there might be a slight bit less focus on my package, people might be distracted away from staring at it and whispering about it all the time, you know, since that is as close to magic as most people get... 'cause my package is magical, you know, my package... down THERE... sigh, come here, ok, now look me in the eyes, ok, now let your eyes travel down, keep going, a little bit further... THERE... you know, my magical "package"... ahh, now you get it.. heh, now you gonna get it... it'll be magic...
The magic eight ball says "you gonna get some tonight"
YOU: Magic eight ball, will it be fantastic?
MAGIC 8 BALL: It will be magical...
posted by Catfish at 8:31 AM
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