plundering the pirates treasure...
God Damn it...
Too much and not enough... need to find some balance...
***
So, you want to know who rocks harder than my old lady... Well, only me, I suppose... Check it out... if I did not rock harder than her that would mean that she settles for less, or has poor judgement or something, so since we know that she doesn't that would mean that I must rock because otherwise she would not rock... you know what I mean, can you dig it? Yeah, it is kinda complicated, but once you wrap your head around it, it all makes sense...
HOLD IT!!!! I know what you are thinking, you are thinking, well, hell, I am her friend, so that must mean that I rock harder than she does because of the above logic... WRONG!!! See, this is an example of her being merciful and empathetic... you are allowed to worship her because she is worthy of your worship, you dig... and she will let you admire her and be her friend because you are at least worthy of this... but lets not go overboard...
When it comes to beauty and softness and being HAWT... you know where to go for advice and emulation...
**
You know who else rocks? The youngest daughter... for real... and the older sister of the youngest daughter... Check this out...
I took the little ladies out for Ice Cream last night, and we had a great time... So we are driving around afterwards, killing some time, and the youngest daughter suddenly pops up with "I don't want to die"... I was all like, WTF... not really a question but a statement...
So before I could say anything, her big sister tells her "everybody dies"... I was like, WTF... again... There was some discussion back and forth about how you and me and her and mommy will die one day, and of course we don't want mommy to die, and the littlest one didn't want to be dead and buried and have people walk on her and then the other says that you don't have to be buried but sometimes you get sick and sometimes bad things happen to you and then you are gone...
I don't think that the older of the 2 was trying to torture her sister, I choose to believe that she is enlightened and was sharing the knowledge like a good teacher... the younger and tougher of the 2 was just being a cute little girl and if you can imagine the blondest and sweetest little pink faced girls (I swear it was right off of a hallmark card) getting all damp in the eyes and talking about heaven and shit... damn...
I got it all smoothed out by yellin' at them to "shut up back there goddammit, what the hell do you need to talk about this for" (parents, remember when using this technique to be loud and firm but don't make eye contact or they will see the fear)... and they changed the subject... but later the little angel brings it back up with her mom and there was some crying and mom was all like, WTF... and the little one was all like "I don't know what to say" and cried into her pillow and wanted to know if she would be with her mom in heaven and ... boohoo... damn, that is some sad stuff there... I will probably have to make some arrangements to die before them so I don't have to deal with it, you know...
In my line of work that should not be so hard... Ninjaing can be dangerous and all I would need to do is be distracted for a moment and that would be it... I know, I know, ninja of my skill level don't get distracted... so how would that be dangerous... well, what if I was doing ninja stuff and there was a pirate... that would distract me for a moment... or if my lovely wife was dressed up like a pirate... or Dude, yeah, a Pirate Wench... that would distract me... then I could maybe be wounded a little bit... maybe at that moment a little child could sneeze around me and POOF!!! Down for the count... no surviving that... Child Sneezes are the deadliest thing in the universe... I once saw this fight between one of those spitting cobra's and a sick child... cobra didn't have a chance...
One time, I was at this stop light, and the car behind me, there was a child hanging out the window and the sun shined in his eyes and he sneezed and the next day all the trees along that street were brown and dead... leafless...
Deadly children sneazing around ninja's distracted by their hot wives dressed like pirate wenches = death and mayhem...
I once saw this child sneeze at superman and superman died, but superman is SO gay that it is to be expected...
**
Goosh... Morrisey has this song, "I like you" ...
No one I ever knew or have spoken to
Resembles you
This is good or bad, all depending on
My general mood
Why do you think I let you get away
With all the things you say to me?
Could it be I like you
It's so shameful of me, I like you
then he says... later on...
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you
Because you're not right in the head, and nor am I
And this is why, You're not right in the head, and nor am I
And this is why, This is why I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you, This is why I like
I only mention this, cause you know what... that is as gay as I get... my homo rainbow only has a couple colors... Ninja Black, Pirate Black, nipple red, and beaver brown... no purples... nope...
minge... heh... minge brown...
Too much and not enough... need to find some balance...
***
So, you want to know who rocks harder than my old lady... Well, only me, I suppose... Check it out... if I did not rock harder than her that would mean that she settles for less, or has poor judgement or something, so since we know that she doesn't that would mean that I must rock because otherwise she would not rock... you know what I mean, can you dig it? Yeah, it is kinda complicated, but once you wrap your head around it, it all makes sense...
HOLD IT!!!! I know what you are thinking, you are thinking, well, hell, I am her friend, so that must mean that I rock harder than she does because of the above logic... WRONG!!! See, this is an example of her being merciful and empathetic... you are allowed to worship her because she is worthy of your worship, you dig... and she will let you admire her and be her friend because you are at least worthy of this... but lets not go overboard...
When it comes to beauty and softness and being HAWT... you know where to go for advice and emulation...
**
You know who else rocks? The youngest daughter... for real... and the older sister of the youngest daughter... Check this out...
I took the little ladies out for Ice Cream last night, and we had a great time... So we are driving around afterwards, killing some time, and the youngest daughter suddenly pops up with "I don't want to die"... I was all like, WTF... not really a question but a statement...
So before I could say anything, her big sister tells her "everybody dies"... I was like, WTF... again... There was some discussion back and forth about how you and me and her and mommy will die one day, and of course we don't want mommy to die, and the littlest one didn't want to be dead and buried and have people walk on her and then the other says that you don't have to be buried but sometimes you get sick and sometimes bad things happen to you and then you are gone...
I don't think that the older of the 2 was trying to torture her sister, I choose to believe that she is enlightened and was sharing the knowledge like a good teacher... the younger and tougher of the 2 was just being a cute little girl and if you can imagine the blondest and sweetest little pink faced girls (I swear it was right off of a hallmark card) getting all damp in the eyes and talking about heaven and shit... damn...
I got it all smoothed out by yellin' at them to "shut up back there goddammit, what the hell do you need to talk about this for" (parents, remember when using this technique to be loud and firm but don't make eye contact or they will see the fear)... and they changed the subject... but later the little angel brings it back up with her mom and there was some crying and mom was all like, WTF... and the little one was all like "I don't know what to say" and cried into her pillow and wanted to know if she would be with her mom in heaven and ... boohoo... damn, that is some sad stuff there... I will probably have to make some arrangements to die before them so I don't have to deal with it, you know...
In my line of work that should not be so hard... Ninjaing can be dangerous and all I would need to do is be distracted for a moment and that would be it... I know, I know, ninja of my skill level don't get distracted... so how would that be dangerous... well, what if I was doing ninja stuff and there was a pirate... that would distract me for a moment... or if my lovely wife was dressed up like a pirate... or Dude, yeah, a Pirate Wench... that would distract me... then I could maybe be wounded a little bit... maybe at that moment a little child could sneeze around me and POOF!!! Down for the count... no surviving that... Child Sneezes are the deadliest thing in the universe... I once saw this fight between one of those spitting cobra's and a sick child... cobra didn't have a chance...
One time, I was at this stop light, and the car behind me, there was a child hanging out the window and the sun shined in his eyes and he sneezed and the next day all the trees along that street were brown and dead... leafless...
Deadly children sneazing around ninja's distracted by their hot wives dressed like pirate wenches = death and mayhem...
I once saw this child sneeze at superman and superman died, but superman is SO gay that it is to be expected...
**
Goosh... Morrisey has this song, "I like you" ...
No one I ever knew or have spoken to
Resembles you
This is good or bad, all depending on
My general mood
Why do you think I let you get away
With all the things you say to me?
Could it be I like you
It's so shameful of me, I like you
then he says... later on...
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you
Because you're not right in the head, and nor am I
And this is why, You're not right in the head, and nor am I
And this is why, This is why I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you
This is why I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you, This is why I like
I only mention this, cause you know what... that is as gay as I get... my homo rainbow only has a couple colors... Ninja Black, Pirate Black, nipple red, and beaver brown... no purples... nope...
minge... heh... minge brown...
posted by Catfish at 12:21 PM
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