Will work for... uh, oh, nevermind...
Epiphanies rarely happen over Plain Toast...
Just another example of why I hate St*rbucks...
1) Epiphany is one of those words that gets used WAY too much and WAY incorrectly... Just because you had a thought doesn't mean it was some sort of cosmic breakthrough that should change your life...
2) What better time for an epiphany is there than over plain toast? Seems like one of the most perfect situations to me... Makes more sense to have a life changing thought, like "I am going to join the peace corps" than, say, during or after sex, at which point you would probably just be thinking, "hey, I like sex"...
3) They feel the need to stick this on things they sell... I know, they are trying to get into your head, be a part of your intellect or something... but it is such a half assed effort...
4) The fact that they bother me bothers me...
I think I will write them a letter...
Dear: St*rbucks,
Kiss my ass.
Con Quidado,
Trey...
SWAK
***
The sweaty dude... he has these big thick toenails... the kind that really need to be clipped but if you actually held a pair of toenail clippers up to them (the big kind) they would look very inadequate, and they would be... really would need to use at least a pair of shears... he is always wearing these tevos, you dig... and I was kinda thinking out loud the other day that it was kinda odd that he dressed in hardly anything rides his bike... I imagine that he is all sweaty because of the bike... but really, he could just be really f'in sweaty all the time, like drippy, you know, and just walks the bike from up the block... eh... I don't think so... well, he could be sweaty all the time AND ride his bike all over the place... I am trying hard to hate him, I feel it will enrich my life...
He got on the bus on friday and squeezed in between these couple of dudes... literally had to squeeze between them. One of these dudes was a little asian guy... he lasted like 15 seconds before he jumped up and ran for the back of the bus... sweaty dude turns to the other dude and says something like "I guess he needed more room" or something completely stupid... it was kinda strange seeing him speak, it was like a cave openning under his bushy mustache... he reminded me of Terry Schiavo the way he through his head around but wasn't really communicating...
I am going to carry a big stick around with me and if when he gets on the bus, if he tries to sit next to me I will stick it in his ribs and keep him moving, like herding cattle or something... if he doesn't get it I will whack him in the shins and when he bends over in pain I will whack him in the back of the head... then I will throw a towel at him and tell him to hit the showers...
Dude... I was thinking about that movie, Speed, and imagining all these folks having to deal with that and I figure that we would all be lost... there would be a major commotion and the bus would blow... hmmnn...
***
My dream of finally eating meat deepfried on a pitchfork is getting closer and closer to coming true... in about a month, in the northern midwest, NW North Dakota, Medora... The MIL is going to take us to the pitchfork fondue... SUHWEEEEEEEEEEEET... I am hoping for a really fantatsic t-shirt out of that...
I was having some serious reservations about this whole trip, let me tell you... ND is nowhere close to, say, Mexico or Las Vegas or the Supermall... Noone (NOONE AT ALL), when they hear you are going to ND says anything like "WOW" or "COOL" or "You lucky bastard"... When you tell anyone you are going to drive to North Dakota the response is typically "Why" or "on purpose" or "Uh, whats in North Dakota"... I usually say something like, "The inlaws" and then I get the look like I am totally whipped and a pussy and stuff... Well, you know, I would do a hell of a lot worse that go to ND for my old lady...
So, yeah, I tell you what, though... I am going to kick some ass... I got plans...
Doesn't do any good to sit here and complain or be all bitchy about it... I am going to treat it like an opportunity... gonna get my freak on... will... I will I tell you... super freaky... heh...
Just another example of why I hate St*rbucks...
1) Epiphany is one of those words that gets used WAY too much and WAY incorrectly... Just because you had a thought doesn't mean it was some sort of cosmic breakthrough that should change your life...
2) What better time for an epiphany is there than over plain toast? Seems like one of the most perfect situations to me... Makes more sense to have a life changing thought, like "I am going to join the peace corps" than, say, during or after sex, at which point you would probably just be thinking, "hey, I like sex"...
3) They feel the need to stick this on things they sell... I know, they are trying to get into your head, be a part of your intellect or something... but it is such a half assed effort...
4) The fact that they bother me bothers me...
I think I will write them a letter...
Dear: St*rbucks,
Kiss my ass.
Con Quidado,
Trey...
SWAK
***
The sweaty dude... he has these big thick toenails... the kind that really need to be clipped but if you actually held a pair of toenail clippers up to them (the big kind) they would look very inadequate, and they would be... really would need to use at least a pair of shears... he is always wearing these tevos, you dig... and I was kinda thinking out loud the other day that it was kinda odd that he dressed in hardly anything rides his bike... I imagine that he is all sweaty because of the bike... but really, he could just be really f'in sweaty all the time, like drippy, you know, and just walks the bike from up the block... eh... I don't think so... well, he could be sweaty all the time AND ride his bike all over the place... I am trying hard to hate him, I feel it will enrich my life...
He got on the bus on friday and squeezed in between these couple of dudes... literally had to squeeze between them. One of these dudes was a little asian guy... he lasted like 15 seconds before he jumped up and ran for the back of the bus... sweaty dude turns to the other dude and says something like "I guess he needed more room" or something completely stupid... it was kinda strange seeing him speak, it was like a cave openning under his bushy mustache... he reminded me of Terry Schiavo the way he through his head around but wasn't really communicating...
I am going to carry a big stick around with me and if when he gets on the bus, if he tries to sit next to me I will stick it in his ribs and keep him moving, like herding cattle or something... if he doesn't get it I will whack him in the shins and when he bends over in pain I will whack him in the back of the head... then I will throw a towel at him and tell him to hit the showers...
Dude... I was thinking about that movie, Speed, and imagining all these folks having to deal with that and I figure that we would all be lost... there would be a major commotion and the bus would blow... hmmnn...
***
My dream of finally eating meat deepfried on a pitchfork is getting closer and closer to coming true... in about a month, in the northern midwest, NW North Dakota, Medora... The MIL is going to take us to the pitchfork fondue... SUHWEEEEEEEEEEEET... I am hoping for a really fantatsic t-shirt out of that...
I was having some serious reservations about this whole trip, let me tell you... ND is nowhere close to, say, Mexico or Las Vegas or the Supermall... Noone (NOONE AT ALL), when they hear you are going to ND says anything like "WOW" or "COOL" or "You lucky bastard"... When you tell anyone you are going to drive to North Dakota the response is typically "Why" or "on purpose" or "Uh, whats in North Dakota"... I usually say something like, "The inlaws" and then I get the look like I am totally whipped and a pussy and stuff... Well, you know, I would do a hell of a lot worse that go to ND for my old lady...
So, yeah, I tell you what, though... I am going to kick some ass... I got plans...
Doesn't do any good to sit here and complain or be all bitchy about it... I am going to treat it like an opportunity... gonna get my freak on... will... I will I tell you... super freaky... heh...
posted by Catfish at 3:09 PM
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