running with the Devil!!!
Rode the bus... blah blah... feet were covered with sand and glass... blah blah... Sausage, snaggletooth, etc., etc., etc...
**
So, about this vacation...
I really am excited, and dreading it at the same time...
It is kinda strange... I will break it down, lets start with the dread...
**
OK, so any vacation I can imaging will begin with a sense of dread... major dread.
I remember when I was young and the family would go camping or something... seemed like there was always a lot of pain and anguish just before we left... bunch of running around and throwing shit and arguing and stuff... We always seemed to be hit the road all completely emotional and unhappy... I guess I carry that with me... like how people associate the dentist with pain, vacation is like that for me...
Part of my concern (and excitement at the same time) is that we will be spending about 6 days on the road... 6 days x 10 hours a day is like 2000 hours or something... I figure I will get about 45 minutes of sleep a night and will probably have to fight off bandits and random female hitchhikers from the womens halfway home for sleazy skanks... that will leave me like 2 days of actual vacation, which I will have to use to prepare for the return trip or something...
No, really... I mean, not really... but all that driving can be bitter sweet... I am an excellent driver... and I enjoy driving... but that is a LOT of driving...
I plan on stopping often... every rest stop... and at any place with the word DEVIL or EVIL or FREE BEER in it... yeah...
Really now, no-one gets excited about going to ND... I love the in-laws to death, but damn... would rather go visit them in Arizona or Vegas or Egypt or something... Oh, and they are going to be out here a few weeks after we get back... thought I would just throw that out there...
OK, so the good things...
and there will be some...
ROAD TRIP... yeah... hitchhikers from the halfway house for sleazy skanks... yeah...
We ARE going to hit the Enchanted Highway, I guarantee it... Will ride the train around the loop, yeah... I am sure that somewhere along the 1500 miles there is going to be at least 3 interesting things to see... Like that big ole' contaminated pit in Butte... and maybe the battlefield where the Indians kicked ass over Custer... Buffalo jerky, probably... Heck, I don't know... but it will be interesting...
With the girls watching their videos in the back and my old lady sleeping in the passenger seat, or knitting stuff, I should be able to listen to pretty much anything I want... We will be loaded down with electronics... Laptop, portable DVD, Digital Camera, light saber, battery charger, cell phone, you name it...
This should be a well documented trip...
Very free and easy... I am going to try and be as mellow as possible, open to any possibilities... Shh, don't tell anyone, but I am probably going to play cards with the in-laws... see how much yelling I can stand... yeah...
***
Seems that our finely tuned korean machine broke down... I mentioned how he was dying yesterday and if he infected me I was going to kick him in the knee... well, he was apparently sneezed on by a child on Saturday... an evil infectious little demon child... sick with a cross between the avian flu and leprosy (and perhaps a bit of anal warts, wouldn't doubt it)... child literally spit in his eye... rubbed some of it in an open cut on the arm... the world is out of balance, all hell breaking loose... this child must be found, smuggled into North Korea... it will take down the entire nation... I remember this movie, what was it, something about spies or something, espionage, and someone sprinkled some sand on the path of something that was supposed to be REALLY REALLY slick, yo, and when whatever it was went down the path it through it off course or created too much friction or something and something happened and there were sirens and people running all over and stuff, I think.. not really sure, anyway, it is like that... too much friction, or not enough, or something... My main concern is, dude, how sick am I going to get?!?! I am not finely tuned... I am rusty and decrepit... if I lift my arms you can smell the rot in my pits... if you cut me open it would be like in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, when Sparky cuts into the turkey... would just fall apart with dust and emptiness (the emptiness is in my soul)... all is dark... I am in a constant twilight... So when this evil infects me, damn, how hard will I fall... Must fight it... will use RAGE to overcome the agony... FEEL THE RAGE!!! AARRGHGHGH!!!
***
**
So, about this vacation...
I really am excited, and dreading it at the same time...
It is kinda strange... I will break it down, lets start with the dread...
**
OK, so any vacation I can imaging will begin with a sense of dread... major dread.
I remember when I was young and the family would go camping or something... seemed like there was always a lot of pain and anguish just before we left... bunch of running around and throwing shit and arguing and stuff... We always seemed to be hit the road all completely emotional and unhappy... I guess I carry that with me... like how people associate the dentist with pain, vacation is like that for me...
Part of my concern (and excitement at the same time) is that we will be spending about 6 days on the road... 6 days x 10 hours a day is like 2000 hours or something... I figure I will get about 45 minutes of sleep a night and will probably have to fight off bandits and random female hitchhikers from the womens halfway home for sleazy skanks... that will leave me like 2 days of actual vacation, which I will have to use to prepare for the return trip or something...
No, really... I mean, not really... but all that driving can be bitter sweet... I am an excellent driver... and I enjoy driving... but that is a LOT of driving...
I plan on stopping often... every rest stop... and at any place with the word DEVIL or EVIL or FREE BEER in it... yeah...
Really now, no-one gets excited about going to ND... I love the in-laws to death, but damn... would rather go visit them in Arizona or Vegas or Egypt or something... Oh, and they are going to be out here a few weeks after we get back... thought I would just throw that out there...
OK, so the good things...
and there will be some...
ROAD TRIP... yeah... hitchhikers from the halfway house for sleazy skanks... yeah...
We ARE going to hit the Enchanted Highway, I guarantee it... Will ride the train around the loop, yeah... I am sure that somewhere along the 1500 miles there is going to be at least 3 interesting things to see... Like that big ole' contaminated pit in Butte... and maybe the battlefield where the Indians kicked ass over Custer... Buffalo jerky, probably... Heck, I don't know... but it will be interesting...
With the girls watching their videos in the back and my old lady sleeping in the passenger seat, or knitting stuff, I should be able to listen to pretty much anything I want... We will be loaded down with electronics... Laptop, portable DVD, Digital Camera, light saber, battery charger, cell phone, you name it...
This should be a well documented trip...
Very free and easy... I am going to try and be as mellow as possible, open to any possibilities... Shh, don't tell anyone, but I am probably going to play cards with the in-laws... see how much yelling I can stand... yeah...
***
Seems that our finely tuned korean machine broke down... I mentioned how he was dying yesterday and if he infected me I was going to kick him in the knee... well, he was apparently sneezed on by a child on Saturday... an evil infectious little demon child... sick with a cross between the avian flu and leprosy (and perhaps a bit of anal warts, wouldn't doubt it)... child literally spit in his eye... rubbed some of it in an open cut on the arm... the world is out of balance, all hell breaking loose... this child must be found, smuggled into North Korea... it will take down the entire nation... I remember this movie, what was it, something about spies or something, espionage, and someone sprinkled some sand on the path of something that was supposed to be REALLY REALLY slick, yo, and when whatever it was went down the path it through it off course or created too much friction or something and something happened and there were sirens and people running all over and stuff, I think.. not really sure, anyway, it is like that... too much friction, or not enough, or something... My main concern is, dude, how sick am I going to get?!?! I am not finely tuned... I am rusty and decrepit... if I lift my arms you can smell the rot in my pits... if you cut me open it would be like in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, when Sparky cuts into the turkey... would just fall apart with dust and emptiness (the emptiness is in my soul)... all is dark... I am in a constant twilight... So when this evil infects me, damn, how hard will I fall... Must fight it... will use RAGE to overcome the agony... FEEL THE RAGE!!! AARRGHGHGH!!!
***
posted by Catfish at 10:55 AM
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