I got my mojo workin', it just don't work on you...
My lovely wife went to school yesterday, back to school, something like that. Ultimately it is/was to get the little viking into a preschool that wouldn't end up costing more than our car payment and monthly rent combined... whatever happened to putting these kids to work in the fields? anyhow...
Anyhow, the little viking, she puts on her brave face and kicks ass at her little school, pretending to be all emotional, just to catch the other kids off guard when she whips our her whoopin' stick...
So the lovely little lady, she goes walkin' into her choral class, you dig, and the gal in there is all like, "you all suck!!!" and "What are you doing here, wasting my time, you cockroaches" and stuff like that... and mentioned that this was a 100 level class so everyone will make it on the choir, just have to show up... BUT there IS a 200 level class, if you want to get into this class you must audition. Only the best of the best will make it. If you have any fear or any misguided notions that you are a good singer just because your husband says you are, then you should not even try. Get out of my sight. Line up single file, you will all have a tryout... tut tut...
Or something like that...
So anyhow, the wife goes struttin' in there and starts to sing and the director stops her right there... she is all like, shhh, listen, and puts her hand to her ear and looks around... did you hear that? she asks... my wife has no idea what she is talking about. So the director waves at her and she starts singing again. Hold it, there it is again!!! the director says and looks around as if to try and figure out where the sound is coming from... she seems very distracted. So my wife starts singing again... and keeps singing... the director gets up and starts walking around the room, trying to find the sound, finally stopping in front of the wife... she stares, in disbelief or something, and listens and listens, getting all wide eyed and horny and stuff, and she abruptly creams her pants and falls to the floor, gasping...
Stop, stop!!! she says... my god, that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, she says... I must have you... Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and these angels popped their heads in, they are all like, oh, sorry, we thought this is where the angels came to sing, we heard one of our own, and shit... The sun was shining in the door and there were rainbows and flowers all of a sudden...
YOU!!! shouted the director... YOU ARE COMING TO CARNEGIE HALL IN APRIL!!! YOU WILL BE MY *STAR*... SUPERSTAR!!!
So yeah, for real, my old lady is gonna be singing at Carnegie hall in April with this choir... and I'm not even making it up... and she really is an angel, heavenly even.
***
marriedtothesea.com
***
The bus routes have changed. It is kinda freaky. They got rid of 4 of the buses on my route, 2 in the morning, 2 in the evening. So now, in the morning the bus has been PACKED. And it has been one of the fancy new buses, with air conditioning and stuff... The Saugsage has had to move to a new seat and now has to share with someone. I don't recognize most of the others on the bus anymore, it is kinda freaky. They all checkin' me out when I get on... I have been having to stare them down, which is kind of a long process, going down the line, starin' down one person at a time... some of them only take a second to stare down, some a full 30 seconds... We are halfway to Seattle before I have finally fucked everyone off... I usually end up sitting up on one of the high benches, looking down on everyone... literally.
And sometimes I can really enjoy it. Kicked back in your favorite chair, looking at the traffic, not a care in the world. You see the most interesting things (really?!?), like a crazy asian couple with a huge machette type knife cutting up apples and noone cares cause they are old and asian and obviously not terrorists. You get to see people sleeping and wonder why they are so tired. And if they go home and fall asleep on the couch like that and someone that actually loves them has to look at them with disgust as they drool and/or flop over... And my favorite is the musical chairs. Someone gets off at a stop and there is a rush to grab their prime seat location, and the person that gets that seat, their previously owned seat is then bum rushed for its prime location. And then one of those people end up getting off at the next stop and just HAD to be 10 ft closer to the front...
DAMN!!!
Oh, yeah, so today, apparently there are some retard wars going on in the interweb or something... So this one dude, I will call him "chuck", anyhow, "chuck" mentions to this other dude, I will call him "korean dude", about how he can check his bags and provides some statistical data to support his claims. "korean dude" counters with his own statistical data and further fronts that "chuck" doesn't know the whole picture and should shut his trap or he will shut it for him, but not really. Other such "quifs" travel back and forth to ME. I try to frantically type the new data into the interweb so the other party can hear about it and I get to hear about how apparently, comparitively speaking, if you compile their data into a single document, I am a giant amongst men... and I love them both, in a non familial way, meaning that I would or could bend either of them over and treat them like the little bitches they are if they don't give me my props... but they apparently prefer to jack each other off on a regular basis so I will probably not need to get into the manpie... so to speak.. oh, I read something about this move called the "london bridge"... does not sound appealing... the internet is full of that crap... urban dictionary, apparently you can take any little phrase like "riding the bus" or "pettin' the puddin'" and someone has decided it is nasty... I mean really, "gilding the lily"...
Linky Dinky
Google Bus Thing
75th Anniversary Aistream Some day, Baby!
TIKI
Anyhow, the little viking, she puts on her brave face and kicks ass at her little school, pretending to be all emotional, just to catch the other kids off guard when she whips our her whoopin' stick...
So the lovely little lady, she goes walkin' into her choral class, you dig, and the gal in there is all like, "you all suck!!!" and "What are you doing here, wasting my time, you cockroaches" and stuff like that... and mentioned that this was a 100 level class so everyone will make it on the choir, just have to show up... BUT there IS a 200 level class, if you want to get into this class you must audition. Only the best of the best will make it. If you have any fear or any misguided notions that you are a good singer just because your husband says you are, then you should not even try. Get out of my sight. Line up single file, you will all have a tryout... tut tut...
Or something like that...
So anyhow, the wife goes struttin' in there and starts to sing and the director stops her right there... she is all like, shhh, listen, and puts her hand to her ear and looks around... did you hear that? she asks... my wife has no idea what she is talking about. So the director waves at her and she starts singing again. Hold it, there it is again!!! the director says and looks around as if to try and figure out where the sound is coming from... she seems very distracted. So my wife starts singing again... and keeps singing... the director gets up and starts walking around the room, trying to find the sound, finally stopping in front of the wife... she stares, in disbelief or something, and listens and listens, getting all wide eyed and horny and stuff, and she abruptly creams her pants and falls to the floor, gasping...
Stop, stop!!! she says... my god, that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, she says... I must have you... Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and these angels popped their heads in, they are all like, oh, sorry, we thought this is where the angels came to sing, we heard one of our own, and shit... The sun was shining in the door and there were rainbows and flowers all of a sudden...
YOU!!! shouted the director... YOU ARE COMING TO CARNEGIE HALL IN APRIL!!! YOU WILL BE MY *STAR*... SUPERSTAR!!!
So yeah, for real, my old lady is gonna be singing at Carnegie hall in April with this choir... and I'm not even making it up... and she really is an angel, heavenly even.
***
marriedtothesea.com
***
The bus routes have changed. It is kinda freaky. They got rid of 4 of the buses on my route, 2 in the morning, 2 in the evening. So now, in the morning the bus has been PACKED. And it has been one of the fancy new buses, with air conditioning and stuff... The Saugsage has had to move to a new seat and now has to share with someone. I don't recognize most of the others on the bus anymore, it is kinda freaky. They all checkin' me out when I get on... I have been having to stare them down, which is kind of a long process, going down the line, starin' down one person at a time... some of them only take a second to stare down, some a full 30 seconds... We are halfway to Seattle before I have finally fucked everyone off... I usually end up sitting up on one of the high benches, looking down on everyone... literally.
And sometimes I can really enjoy it. Kicked back in your favorite chair, looking at the traffic, not a care in the world. You see the most interesting things (really?!?), like a crazy asian couple with a huge machette type knife cutting up apples and noone cares cause they are old and asian and obviously not terrorists. You get to see people sleeping and wonder why they are so tired. And if they go home and fall asleep on the couch like that and someone that actually loves them has to look at them with disgust as they drool and/or flop over... And my favorite is the musical chairs. Someone gets off at a stop and there is a rush to grab their prime seat location, and the person that gets that seat, their previously owned seat is then bum rushed for its prime location. And then one of those people end up getting off at the next stop and just HAD to be 10 ft closer to the front...
DAMN!!!
Oh, yeah, so today, apparently there are some retard wars going on in the interweb or something... So this one dude, I will call him "chuck", anyhow, "chuck" mentions to this other dude, I will call him "korean dude", about how he can check his bags and provides some statistical data to support his claims. "korean dude" counters with his own statistical data and further fronts that "chuck" doesn't know the whole picture and should shut his trap or he will shut it for him, but not really. Other such "quifs" travel back and forth to ME. I try to frantically type the new data into the interweb so the other party can hear about it and I get to hear about how apparently, comparitively speaking, if you compile their data into a single document, I am a giant amongst men... and I love them both, in a non familial way, meaning that I would or could bend either of them over and treat them like the little bitches they are if they don't give me my props... but they apparently prefer to jack each other off on a regular basis so I will probably not need to get into the manpie... so to speak.. oh, I read something about this move called the "london bridge"... does not sound appealing... the internet is full of that crap... urban dictionary, apparently you can take any little phrase like "riding the bus" or "pettin' the puddin'" and someone has decided it is nasty... I mean really, "gilding the lily"...
Linky Dinky
Google Bus Thing
75th Anniversary Aistream Some day, Baby!
TIKI
posted by Catfish at 1:52 PM
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