laying on the hands of destiny...

I was thinking, the world would be a much better place if I were allowed to lay my hands on people, in kind of a "healing" gesture, really...
Especially on the bus...
Take today, for instance... there was this dude sitting in front of me, an old twitchy dude... he kept his eyes on the traffic let me tell you. He was lookin' this way and that. He would have his eyes on the road ahead and then, every time a car or truck passed us on the right his head would snap over (to the right) and keep an eye on it, until finally his eyes were facing front again, then he would do it all over again... Now that may sound kinda sublime or not so bad, but consider we were going slower than most other traffic on the road and there were about a thousand vehicles passing us, his head was snappin to the right every couple seconds... man he was twitchy... Now, if I were allowed to gently, but quickly, reach out and put my hands on him, say to the side of his head, FWAP!, I could probably have cured him... maybe not the first time, but probably after laying my hands on his 10 or 12 times the cure would probably have taken.
"Oh, DUDE!" you are probably saying. One twitchy old fucker probably isn't proof that you should use your natural talents and delicate hands on people. True, but consider this.
There was this little honey sitting there on the bench, she looked miserable. Besides having an unfortunate jaw structure, and being a redhead, which automatically makes her certifiably insane (the world would be a much better place if I were just allowed to diagnose peoples mental shortcomings) she was all twitchy, also. I could tell that her thong was probably asunder and she was too embarrassed to do anything about it. Now, with divine permission I could have gently gone on up in there and using my soft hands and general understanding of where things go, I could have put her stuff back in its places... made sure the pieces were at the right angles and stuff, you know cradling here and not binding there... of course I would have been glowing with a divine light so noone would think anything of it, they would have thought it was just any other appearance of an angel doing what angels do.. adjusting bra's and thongs and other misc pieces of female goodies... Hell, there might have even been applause when I was done and the chick was sitting still again... still and satisfied.
I know, I know, the laying on of hands is not always gentle, but I would be up for it. Like the old insane unhappy ugly freak woman that was sitting there over and up from me, right there on the aisle. Not sure exactly what her problem was, but I think it had something to do with the large black woman that came in and sat down behind her. I think she bumped the seat in front of her with her ampleness a couple times. The ugly woman turned around and gave the stink eye a couple times, not sure who to exactly, she just kinda turned her head around and looked up towards the ceiling, but her eyes where going in different directions, so she may have been giving the stink eye to her knee, or the floor or the hand rail or something, not sure... but she was being REALLY aggressive with it, like lasers or something, just throwing it all around and not caring who it fell on... I knew, deep in my heart, that what was required was the abrupt laying on of hands to her temple... BAM!!! POW!!! like Batman and Robin but with a purpose of healing. KAPOW right to the temple and her eyes would have gone back to where they oughta be and the stink would have been wiped right off her face... and the crowd goes wild... people would have been patting me on the back as I left and I would have been all, like, uh, Jesus or something... no, like, Ghandi... wading through the crowd with compassion and love for everyone, no hubris, not expecting any rewards other than the satisfaction of a job well done...
Now that I think of it, I could have continued my missionary work (heh) on the walk to work on probably 3 different bums, the garbage man, whoever owns that barbecue place, the facilities guy here, and that one dude that called me... it would be like on ash Wednesday (is it Wednesday? whats that day, with the smudges and stuff?) and everyone would know by the red marks on their cheeks that they had been touched... or their underwear would be in comfortable positions or something...

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So last night I was "gilding the lily".. what?!?, NOOO...

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The interweb RAWKS...
Somebody should buy me things, starting HERE
Somebody should close their eyes and imagine how much fun we would/could/should have in Austin at ACL and/or SXSW. Happy, finally Happy!!!
Oh, Dude... remember how we were going to get away, one day... THIS is what I am talking about.
OK, Baby, you got IT. Oh, and the TC Electronics M350 looks like friggin' FUN with a capital F and U and N. Oh, and the Digital Reference DR-CX1 Side Address Cardioid Condenser Microphone is well thought of, so that duo is right on!!!