...next to nothing....
Really, I got next to nothing... Holiday Spirit seems to have eluded me this year. I am holding out for a xmas miracle... perhaps I will be touched by an Angel (heh, touched)...
Ok, completely random, but there is this thing that I do with my wife... no, not that one, the other one... no, the one wife, but the other thing that I do... damn... anyhow, when certain words come up in conversation or commercial or pretty much anywhere, I am forced to repeat them... she does the same, but she is not forced, she is just cute... So, really, like if we go to the store, and are on the condiment aisle (condiment being funny in its own right) and I reach for the Beaver Brand mustard or something, I pretty much gotta shout out "Beaver"... I think it is required by law... but they are words like this... it can be akward, like when you are looking at wild animals with your mother in law... luckily my mother in law would not understand the funny of me shouting out BEAVER... she would look all over for it, but, you know...
I read someones blog, I was blog jumping, from one to another, etc... anyhow, this chick that I have no idea who she is wrote about accidental nudity... sorta like flashing... and I thought, damn, I don't think I have ever accidentally flashed anyone... but I KNOW I have deliberately flashed many people... like this one time, I am sure alchohol was involved, I was camping with my brothers and some other friends and some strangers and we went swimming at night and somehow there were like 2000 dudes and 1 girl standing around this fire and all of a sudden all the fella's in my family just dropped our drawers and stood there by the fire... slowly but shirely all the other dudes around the fire dropped their drawers and pretty soon there we were, all standing there, drawers around our ankles, drinking beer... I remember that the chick thought this was pretty cool and she dropped her bottoms but left her tops on... and noone got a boner as far as I know, oh, except for her boyfriend, apparently he thought this was REALLY cool (that she would drop her drawers in front of all these dudes) and he humped her rotten in their tent that night, from what I hear... second hand info, yo...
Somehow I seem to remember several occasions where there was fire and liquor and nudity involved... that is probably where I honed my skills into becoming the sexy bastard I am now... Oh, you wouldn't know it from looking at me... but I AM... just one taste and you are hooked... whats that phrase they all use... once you.. no... uh, oh, yes, He's Tasty...
Oh, anyway, yeah, can't remember being embarassed about accidentally being naked and someone peeking at me... but have done the opposite... or something...
READING Holidays on Ice right now... it is my tradition... David Sedaris Rocks...
I think this is the 3rd or 4th year in a row that I have read it... Something about the Sedaris family makes me very happy... The only reason I would ever go to NY is to try and buy a cupcake from Amy Sedaris... Perhaps, as she hands me the cupcake our fingers will gently brush each other, we will make eye contact, she will notice how sexy I am and hump me right there... that would be sweet... I bet she is funny in the sack... always crackin' jokes and wearing funny outfits... like a clown costume... with the big shoes and shit... yeah... bright red lips and a wig with a white face and she's all honking this horn while she... uhh, be right back...
Ok, completely random, but there is this thing that I do with my wife... no, not that one, the other one... no, the one wife, but the other thing that I do... damn... anyhow, when certain words come up in conversation or commercial or pretty much anywhere, I am forced to repeat them... she does the same, but she is not forced, she is just cute... So, really, like if we go to the store, and are on the condiment aisle (condiment being funny in its own right) and I reach for the Beaver Brand mustard or something, I pretty much gotta shout out "Beaver"... I think it is required by law... but they are words like this... it can be akward, like when you are looking at wild animals with your mother in law... luckily my mother in law would not understand the funny of me shouting out BEAVER... she would look all over for it, but, you know...
I read someones blog, I was blog jumping, from one to another, etc... anyhow, this chick that I have no idea who she is wrote about accidental nudity... sorta like flashing... and I thought, damn, I don't think I have ever accidentally flashed anyone... but I KNOW I have deliberately flashed many people... like this one time, I am sure alchohol was involved, I was camping with my brothers and some other friends and some strangers and we went swimming at night and somehow there were like 2000 dudes and 1 girl standing around this fire and all of a sudden all the fella's in my family just dropped our drawers and stood there by the fire... slowly but shirely all the other dudes around the fire dropped their drawers and pretty soon there we were, all standing there, drawers around our ankles, drinking beer... I remember that the chick thought this was pretty cool and she dropped her bottoms but left her tops on... and noone got a boner as far as I know, oh, except for her boyfriend, apparently he thought this was REALLY cool (that she would drop her drawers in front of all these dudes) and he humped her rotten in their tent that night, from what I hear... second hand info, yo...
Somehow I seem to remember several occasions where there was fire and liquor and nudity involved... that is probably where I honed my skills into becoming the sexy bastard I am now... Oh, you wouldn't know it from looking at me... but I AM... just one taste and you are hooked... whats that phrase they all use... once you.. no... uh, oh, yes, He's Tasty...
Oh, anyway, yeah, can't remember being embarassed about accidentally being naked and someone peeking at me... but have done the opposite... or something...
READING Holidays on Ice right now... it is my tradition... David Sedaris Rocks...
I think this is the 3rd or 4th year in a row that I have read it... Something about the Sedaris family makes me very happy... The only reason I would ever go to NY is to try and buy a cupcake from Amy Sedaris... Perhaps, as she hands me the cupcake our fingers will gently brush each other, we will make eye contact, she will notice how sexy I am and hump me right there... that would be sweet... I bet she is funny in the sack... always crackin' jokes and wearing funny outfits... like a clown costume... with the big shoes and shit... yeah... bright red lips and a wig with a white face and she's all honking this horn while she... uhh, be right back...
posted by Catfish at 2:07 PM
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