a Wicked Little Critter...
Bejeweled has to be the greatest invention on the internet EVER!!!
Dude, I downloaded the full trial version yesterday, right, and it gave me a full hour to sample it... HOLY SHIT!!! They got this game on there, unlimited, right, it is a never ending game... I played that fucker for the FULL HOUR... no shit... it was fantastic... I am all matching up these little colored things into rows or 3 or 4 or 5 and it goes BOOM... and like, every time it would go BOOM I would giggle like a little girl, and then, and then, if you did it right, and got like a bunch in a row, more than 3 and then it goes boom and the chain reaction causes more to line up and go boom and the game starts telling you things, like, "good job" and "AWESOME" and "Fantastic" and "you have a large package" and stuff, and I tell you I was GLOWING from all the kudos and shit... what's that stuff called? when people boost you up and make you feel good about yourself? Uhh... Compliments? Sure... anyhow... I am just sitting there click click click click and BAM - AWESOME!!!
And DUDE... it gives you HINTS!!! So, like, if you are sitting there looking at all the pretty sparklies and forget to click on things it will flash up on the screen where you should probably make your next move, and you know it is always RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU... but it don't care, cause you can make the move and it give you a shout out telling you how AWESOME!!! you are for doing what it just told you, like some old beatnick jazz dude, telling you, go man go, click it, YEAH!!! and snapping its fingers at you and you are all like in the groove throwing down some tasty, uh, grooves...
I wish Bejeweled was my girlfriend. Sitting there, watching me do things. Flipping through the channels, she would be all like, YEAH! and AWESOME! and BAM! and I would just do my thing...
Doing the dishes, I could like, load the dishwasher and she would be like YEAH! GOOD JOB! YEAH!
Dude, if Bejeweled were my girlfriend, we could be, like, doing it.. you know, toasting the buns, or perhaps gilding the lily or even a mexican hotplate (not that, gross) and I could get all distracted and not doing the thing correctly or not seeing the "spot" right there in front of me and she would be all like popping up with hints (RIGHT THERE ASSHOLE) and I would be all like, oh, duh, there it is, and I would hit that spot like a pro and she would be all like PERFECT and NICE MOVE! and AWESOME!!! and I would be all like, bam bam bam, clickety... and then, when you hit some point you get this rumble and it is like, ROUND COMPLETE and then it goes, like ROUND 8 or something, and you get right back into it.. bam, click, suck, click, hint, AWESOME!!! boom boom boom... and my bejeweled girfriend wouldn't be all like, you want ANOTHER round?!? She would be all like, you go boy, and AWESOME!!! and stuff...
You know what sucks though?
Dude, in the online limited game, right, you are all feeling good about yourself, bangin' away and shit, and the game is telling you how you rock and are an awesome lover, I mean, player, right, then all of a sudden you get this nice row together and all of a sudden, all of a sudden it is like "NO MORE MOVES" and it JUST STOPS!!! I mean, WTF... It is CRUSHING... serious. I am f'in serious... after like 20 minutes of telling you how HOT you are it is all of a sudden breaking up with you or something... YOU SUCK!!! just out of the blue... like, Hey Baby, Hey Baby, Hey Baby, restraining order... and you are telling the cops you never even touched her and you don't know where she got the bruises... Uh...
Oh, and playing the trial version, right.. I am ROCKIN' IT HARD... like some sort of lambada or something, and all of a sudden it is like BANG! free trial OVER, fork over some cash... just like that, right in the middle... it like, man, you are hittin' it and all of a sudden your girlfriends husband comes home and you are jumping out the window with your clothes in your hands and losing your car keys in the bushes... WTF?!?
I got my lovely wife playing it, but man, it is sooo, strange... it is like, she is doing these moves and the game is telling her NICE MOVE and YEAH! and stuff and I am like, you M'F'er... and there ain't noone's jaw to bust, its just a game, but I am all sitting there and it is SICK... I was all squirming and shit while this DUDE was saying things to my wife and she is EATING IT UP and I am thinking, man I could never be a swinger, man, cause it is like watching her making out with some other dude with me sitting right there and she is all enjoying herself and I just want to shout, get your hands off my wife you fucker...
Overall though, Bejewelled is frickin' awesome... it makes me feel like I have just been hugged... and I matter, and somebody loves me... I love the internet...
***
Oh, in an effort to drive more traffic to my blog, I am going to tag this post with "GloryHole" and "crust" just to see what happens...
Dude, I downloaded the full trial version yesterday, right, and it gave me a full hour to sample it... HOLY SHIT!!! They got this game on there, unlimited, right, it is a never ending game... I played that fucker for the FULL HOUR... no shit... it was fantastic... I am all matching up these little colored things into rows or 3 or 4 or 5 and it goes BOOM... and like, every time it would go BOOM I would giggle like a little girl, and then, and then, if you did it right, and got like a bunch in a row, more than 3 and then it goes boom and the chain reaction causes more to line up and go boom and the game starts telling you things, like, "good job" and "AWESOME" and "Fantastic" and "you have a large package" and stuff, and I tell you I was GLOWING from all the kudos and shit... what's that stuff called? when people boost you up and make you feel good about yourself? Uhh... Compliments? Sure... anyhow... I am just sitting there click click click click and BAM - AWESOME!!!
And DUDE... it gives you HINTS!!! So, like, if you are sitting there looking at all the pretty sparklies and forget to click on things it will flash up on the screen where you should probably make your next move, and you know it is always RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU... but it don't care, cause you can make the move and it give you a shout out telling you how AWESOME!!! you are for doing what it just told you, like some old beatnick jazz dude, telling you, go man go, click it, YEAH!!! and snapping its fingers at you and you are all like in the groove throwing down some tasty, uh, grooves...
I wish Bejeweled was my girlfriend. Sitting there, watching me do things. Flipping through the channels, she would be all like, YEAH! and AWESOME! and BAM! and I would just do my thing...
Doing the dishes, I could like, load the dishwasher and she would be like YEAH! GOOD JOB! YEAH!
Dude, if Bejeweled were my girlfriend, we could be, like, doing it.. you know, toasting the buns, or perhaps gilding the lily or even a mexican hotplate (not that, gross) and I could get all distracted and not doing the thing correctly or not seeing the "spot" right there in front of me and she would be all like popping up with hints (RIGHT THERE ASSHOLE) and I would be all like, oh, duh, there it is, and I would hit that spot like a pro and she would be all like PERFECT and NICE MOVE! and AWESOME!!! and I would be all like, bam bam bam, clickety... and then, when you hit some point you get this rumble and it is like, ROUND COMPLETE and then it goes, like ROUND 8 or something, and you get right back into it.. bam, click, suck, click, hint, AWESOME!!! boom boom boom... and my bejeweled girfriend wouldn't be all like, you want ANOTHER round?!? She would be all like, you go boy, and AWESOME!!! and stuff...
You know what sucks though?
Dude, in the online limited game, right, you are all feeling good about yourself, bangin' away and shit, and the game is telling you how you rock and are an awesome lover, I mean, player, right, then all of a sudden you get this nice row together and all of a sudden, all of a sudden it is like "NO MORE MOVES" and it JUST STOPS!!! I mean, WTF... It is CRUSHING... serious. I am f'in serious... after like 20 minutes of telling you how HOT you are it is all of a sudden breaking up with you or something... YOU SUCK!!! just out of the blue... like, Hey Baby, Hey Baby, Hey Baby, restraining order... and you are telling the cops you never even touched her and you don't know where she got the bruises... Uh...
Oh, and playing the trial version, right.. I am ROCKIN' IT HARD... like some sort of lambada or something, and all of a sudden it is like BANG! free trial OVER, fork over some cash... just like that, right in the middle... it like, man, you are hittin' it and all of a sudden your girlfriends husband comes home and you are jumping out the window with your clothes in your hands and losing your car keys in the bushes... WTF?!?
I got my lovely wife playing it, but man, it is sooo, strange... it is like, she is doing these moves and the game is telling her NICE MOVE and YEAH! and stuff and I am like, you M'F'er... and there ain't noone's jaw to bust, its just a game, but I am all sitting there and it is SICK... I was all squirming and shit while this DUDE was saying things to my wife and she is EATING IT UP and I am thinking, man I could never be a swinger, man, cause it is like watching her making out with some other dude with me sitting right there and she is all enjoying herself and I just want to shout, get your hands off my wife you fucker...
Overall though, Bejewelled is frickin' awesome... it makes me feel like I have just been hugged... and I matter, and somebody loves me... I love the internet...
***
Oh, in an effort to drive more traffic to my blog, I am going to tag this post with "GloryHole" and "crust" just to see what happens...
posted by Catfish at 2:08 PM
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