Narwhals ROCK!!!

Actually, Narwhals is/are where it is at for me, as far as single tusked animal type friends go.
I mean, they are nothing like unicorns. Totally, even besides the whole living in water (Narwhals) vs. living on the land (unicorns) thing.
Narwhals are naturally loving and sensitive creature, and they smell fantastic. You would think that living in the water all the time and shit they would smell kinda fishy, but THEY DON'T!!! They smell like Vanilla... well not really vanilla... ok, to be honest, they smell like ME!!! See, they smell like this: After I shower in the morning I put on a little patchouli, just a touch, right there on my patch (down there), just in case, then I put some sandalwood on my wrist and a little in my hair... so imagine after a long day how it has worn off a little bit and now imagine I exercised or something, got a little musky, then I put some vanilla extract in my armpits and layed on the couch for a while... THAT is what I am talking about... they smell FANTASTIC like THAT!!!
So that is one difference... Another difference is that they are not all full of themselves. They are very benevolent kinda creatures, they wanna help, just for the sake of helping... and they want to cuddle ALL the time. Which is sad, 'cause they really can't, you know, since they are under water and like 3 times the size of you or me... but they want to... it is their one unrequited desire in life... they just want to, you know, curl up with someone, rub their cheek on, you know, the part of whomever they are cuddled up with that their cheek would be able to rub up on, if they had cheeks... they want that more than anything... One of them told me, I am not supposed to talk about it, it is kind of a secret.
Oh, Dude!!! that and they have HUGE horns... Some of them have 2, but most of them have 1... and you know what?!? They ain't just horns... they have like these nerves or something running through them so they can SENSE things through their horns, and feel things... I mean, serious, you could get all up and rubby on their horns and they would REALLY appreciate it...
Shoot, don't get the wrong idea, it ain't like a boner or something, it just feels good and shit...
Heh, and here's the rub (that's a pun or something), it feels good to rub it. I mean, YOU, if you were rubbing the Narwhals big ass horn would ALSO feel good... so I guess it IS kinda like a boner, you know, 'cause both people feel good about the rubbing going on... anyhow, I digress...
So I would not kill a Narwhal, like I would one of those bastard Unicorns. And steal their horns...
So, anyhow, check it out, I am not saying I would, but if I did, say, kill a unicorn AND a Narwhal and snag their horns, right, and do something like point them at someone... for science, lets say I had these horns and I pointed them at Mr. Kitten Chow... So first I point the unicorn horn at him and he would just get a little tingly, maybe his ballsack would tighten up a little bit or something, he might feel like a backrub or want to smooch or something... now, dig this, imagine I picked up a might Narwhal horn and aimed it at him... now, if I did this, he would get a boner for sure, would probably run upstairs and grease up his back door and put his hair in a ponytail like I like, then he would walk around like some cat in heat, all rubbin up on shit and presenting himself for mounting and shit... If I accidentally actually touched him with the horn he would actually have an spontaneous orgasm (a great big one) and have to leave his underwear in the trash somewhere (I guess it would depend on where we were when I accidentally touched him)...
Just a sliver of Narwhal horn is enough to turn a whole room into a raging orgy... if that was how you wanted to use it...
They do more than that... they are good for mixing up waffle batter... They make a killer stick shift lever if you wanted to customize your car (car go fast)...
I think the thing I like best about Narwhals is they have this incredible sense of justice. They totally know the difference between right and wrong. And they HATE unicorns. Typically they are peaceful creatures, but if the opportunity arose they would totally leap out of the water and spear a goddamn (their words, not mine) unicorn randomly until they either bleed to death or a vital organ was pierced... unfortunately the Narwhals are typically up in the arctic regions where unicorns rarely go...
I would totally love to see a Narwhal vs. Unicorn cage match... uhhh, anyhow, yeah, you know, I had a point...
When I ride the bus, I think of Narwhals and butterflies (even the ones that are actually moths) and wild flowers... oh, and a gentle mountain meadow stream... and the narwhal is in the stream and me and my old lady are skinny dipping in the stream with the narwhal and we get to pet him and rub his horn and I get some action in the meadow and the narwhal gets to watch and a small tear of happiness falls from his eye and runs down where his cheek would be if he had any... and he swims away and I am FANTASTIC...

Unicorns suck...

Actually, I dislike Unicorns. I only said that I was dreaming of unicorns and flowers and crap to set the mood, give you an idea of where I was coming from. It all reality unicorns kinda suck. They smell funny, they act all spoiled and prima donna like, you know, kinda dickish, for real... I have never gotten along with them.
Sometimes I wish I lived in a movie, one where I was a just and honest king, and there was a problem going on, the kingdom was rapidly losing all its virgins, coincidentally, around the same time, a couple of unicorns showed up... all the chicks in the kingdom were acting funny so I sent for a couple of them, to investigate, and they were all gushy and horny (or is it horny and gushy, hmmnnn) and they were trying to do it with me, but I was married to the most beautiful queen in the world (hey baby) so I resisted... So I sent some people out to capture the unicorns and bring them to me, but everyone I sent went into some strange, uh, thing, and couldn't capture the unicorns, so I went myself and as I got close to them they looked at me and try to work some magic on my and I got really really horny but I was used to it so their magic did not work on me, but I pretended it did and I got closer and closer to them and they had let their guard down and when I got close enough I whipped out my sword (the sharp shiny one, yo) and cut their horns off... then I poked them randomly around their bodies with my sword until they finally bleed to death or I hit some vital organ, whatever, you know, they die and shit, and I take their horns and go back to the castle and order is returned to the land and the virgins are safe and I randomly take the horns and aim them at my wife, like in the middle of the day, get her all excited, you know, randomly, until she starts getting pissed off and in the middle of the night she steals them and sneaks out of the castle and throws them in the river, down by the waterfall and they flow down river, over the waterfall and they end up getting stuck under the waterfall where noone can get to them... Oh, until one day some beavers chew down a couple trees and stop the water from flowing and the waterfall dries up and this young hot chick finds these funny looking horn shaped things and she grabs them and over time some random shit happens...
I guess the main point would be that in the movie I would slaughter the unicorns and shit... sticky bastards... it's not just that they stink but their social skills suck so you get annoyed with them really quick and have to try to find some way to get away from them without hurting their feelings... Well, I say bullshit to that anymore... I just walk away while they are talking or pretend I don't see them so I don't have to talk to them, or ...

Hey!!!
Did you know I ride the bus?
Yep, everyday for the last 2 million years I have gotten on the bus at the side of the road outside my apartment complex and ridden (rodden?) it clear into seattle,
Some people know about this and ask me how long it takes to get from there to here or here to there... I never really know what to say, see, 'cause I don't know...
On the way in to work in the morning I put on my headphones and think about unicorns and new flowers that I would create if I was in the position of power that would let me do things... Sorry, lost it there...
But in affect, I ride the bus, in the morning and I dream of happy things, which include unicorns and flowers similar to edelweiss, but more like wisteria, smelling of lavender, but I like the word Dahlia, so it is kinda like that too... and there are a lot of them, and that unicorn I mentioned, it is standing in the middle of them (when it has to poop it goes over there --> behind the tree because it is shy and doesn't want anyone to see it when it happens)...
and there are butterflies and shit like that... you know, so I get kinda lost in it and have no concept of how long it takes to get here... I CAN tell you, though, that there is some weird shit that breaks me out of my dreams once we get here...
1) There is this dude, his legs don't work, and he uses crutches to bust around... he is totally buff and I figure that he could kick my ass, if I wasn't a fricken pirate ass ninja and didn't kick his fuckin' crutches out from under him... anyway..
2) So, before we get to the union station stop, EVERY f'in morning I see this group of dudes come walking out of a garage. They are somewhat clean, they have badges hanging around their necks and they usually have notebooks... but damn if they don't look beat... For the longest time I was wondering where they were going and I finally figured it out. They are part of an Adult Rehabilitation Program. I have no idea what that means. I mean, they look somewhat respectable, but I suppose they could be going through some sort of court ordered process to rehabilitate themselves and shit... I don't know.
3) Then there are all these dudes and chicks hanging out outside this garage south of the courthouse, you dig, and I was all like, what fo'? you know, then I figured out that they are on WORK RELEASE. They are all hanging out and smoking and waiting for someone to come and get them so they can go and pick up garbage on the freeways or something... I got it all figured out...
I think this is why I started dreaming of flowers and stuff, the route is a little gritty, you know.
Today, though..., today has been different for some reason... the bus ride was very pleasant... I was looking out the window at the king street stop and this attractive blond girl that I often see standing there smiled at me. It was a friendly smile. I smiled back and had to resist the reflex to wave real faggy (faggie?) like...
Then there was this other blond girl that got on the bus and she was acting all surly and shit, but she was cute and I kinda nodded at her before I got off the bus and she kinda smiled and nodded back... I made the walk sign as soon as I got off the bus (didn't have to stand on the corner, yay) and when I got to the other side there was this freaky looking chick with purple leggings on and misc black other clothing, and her hair was kinda fucked up, but she had the brightest blue eyes... it made me sad, just a little, she made me think of that chick in "A Million Little Pieces" that ends up killing herself in the end for some reason, and she looked shy and a little freaked out as I walked by 'cause I kept trying to see her eyes some more, and like I said, I was a little teary and all for a minute, but then, as I walked down the hill a little bit I smelled bacon. My heart soared... I could tell it was some sort of breakfast buffet and there was a pile of bacon a mile high just sitting there waiting for someone like me to come along and eat it... eat me, it was whispering, I love you...
And I felt strong, legs felt good and strong and I was powerful and full of bacon power and shit... I saw a dog pee on a lamp post... I stopped and looked in the window of a bookstore. I think I will stop in there tomorrow and see if they have any Henry Miller. Tropic of something or other, not cancer, I read that one, the other one, or Sexus or Nexus, some sort of Henry Miller. I need Henry right now for some reason...
Uhhh, I got to work and everything was cool, I had to poo so I went down to the 6th floor and had the bathroom to myself, it smelled really clean (when I went in, not so clean when I left)...
And so here I am...
I was going to mention, lately, on the way home, I have been reading this book called The Alchemist. If you have not read it, read it... I think even my old lady would enjoy it, except there is this term that gets used over and over (NO, not maktub), they keep speaking of a persons "Personal Legend". I imagine that in its original language the phrase was much better, very cool, but translated into english as Personal Legend... What...
Oh, so anyhow, I been reading this book and it has me thinking a lot and I was reading it the other day and we were approaching the exit from the freeway so I put my book away and was just kinda gazing out the window...
Now check it out, I look out the window all the time, even while I am reading... stick with me here... So I look out the window and into the cars of the people going by... I keep hoping that I will see some gal with her skirt all hitched up and I would be able to see her puddin' as she drives by... or maybe there is some gal that has her hoo-ha's hanging out and she is really cute and is just being free, you know, not slutty, just expressing her joy and freedom... very, what's the word, inspiring and shit... that's it, really, I am looking for inspiration in the breasts and vagina's of the passing (attractive) girls in traffic... what better place to form a plan, to start a revolution? We're all here, it is all NOW and shit, let's do it... (heh, do it)...
So, what I was going to say, I was looking out the window doing those things up there ^ the other day and I kinda glanced out the window, and this dude was driving by and normally I just kinda look over, if it is a dude, I turn back to what I was doing.... So I looked over and saw this dude driving by and I went back to what I was doing and then I thought "UH"... and I looked back over at the dude, and it was just this guy, you know, and he was driving an SUV type vehicle and he was holding the wheel with his left hand, but he had his dick out and was stroking it with his right hand... just stroking away, not all furious like, more like he had it all planned out how long it was going to take him to drive to where he was going and he was in no hurry to finish, so he was just having a nice leisurely jack-off while he was driving... Home, I imagine...
So I looked over after I had that "UH" thought and took a quick look at this dude and turned away and thought, "UH" some more. I was wondering, should I be outraged? Shocked? Should I make a fuss? Call someone? Was this a bad thing? I didn't know... I don't know why I didn't know, and I was disappointed that it wasn't some gal or at least that some gal wasn't otherwise involved, but otherwise I was rather blase

bla·sé (blä-z)
adj.
1. Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence.
2. Unconcerned; nonchalant: had a blasé attitude about housecleaning.
3. Very sophisticated.

about the whole thing... I mean, heck, it was just some dude, probably had some good tunes playing, was rockin' out with his, well, you get the idea...
anyhow
***
So I got word back from the person whom I have no nickname for yet, the subject of yesterdays drama... he is VERY sorry and wants to cuddle and look into my eyes... he misses me most of all... I don't blame him...
I feel bad, though, because, you know, I said "fuck you" at him and I want to take it back, but once you put something like that in motion is just doesn't stop... how do you stop a thunderbolt? it is just going to have to run it's course and eventually dissipate on its own... I think we will be all good, once again and I will be able to say, some day, something like: I was talking to my friend the other day, or: My friend said the funniest thing the other day...
Maybe we can have a sleep over and sleep in the living room and watch movies and sneak out after... uh, well, I guess there is no one to sneak out after... so we will just kinda, umm, I guess we will just open the door and ago outside and, well there ain't much to do outside at that time of night, my parents were right, they told me there was no reason to stay out that late... damn...

You suck because I loved you but you didn't love me back in a timely manner

I wrote an epic email today, to an old friend of mine. It really was poetic and shit... just the right mixture of rambling and imagination, mixed with flowery girlish boy type stuff... I had it broken down into sections so I could address seperate thoughts, uh, seperately... oh, and thouroughly... well, not so thourhough... there was too much illiteration going on to be especially thourough...
So anyhow, 2200 words later, I signed it with a kiss and sent it through the tubes of the interweb... I imagined that it went through the tubes, and in the tubes there were roots and uh, that stuff, you know, like after leaves and stuff sit around for a long time and they become rich and soil nourishing... what's it called? Shit!
Anyhow, it gently floated through the tubes, through the roots of blooming flowers and purfumy orchards and shit... you know, unicorns and soft pillows, that kind of shit... gently and softly my email slips into his email inbox like a lover creeping into bed... Hey baby... I know you're tired, but I want to give you some love, oh, and by the way, I put baby powder on my thighs and have been drinking tequila...
Just exactly like that...
WHAOOOO!!! What a present for someone to receive... I imagine it was absolutely humming, sitting there in anticipation of being read... like some sort of newborn cartoon animal that just wants to be petted... Come On, Come On... it says, open me and pet me and caress me and I will purr for you and flutter my cartoonishly large eyes at you... it's ok to have a boner at this point, because this is for real baby...
Then... and this is hard to say, but I am going to say it anyway... This BRUTE!@!! With big meaty hands (he must have someone else type in his password, hands too manly to operate a keyboard)... Somehow he opens this email... DUDE!!! He should have been blinded by the brilliance, we his pants and got all emotional and shit... but his heart must be stone or something.... or he had sunglasses and those gloves that people that work with molten metal or glass wear... or he's an alien... This BRUTE!!! He doesn't believe in magic... deaf to the music of life or something... can't taste the nectar or smell the horny scent of someone who is good to go (well, taste and smell are very highly related, I think you can't smell if you can't taste, or is it the opposite?)...
IRREGARDLESS.... Definately without any regard me gulped down the gourmet meal I sent to him, didn't stop to taste and savor it... gulped it down and burped and probably drank a coke with it... He must not have, couldn't possible have actually read the full email, not possible...
Sorry, it's getting hard to type, through the tears, I still have to look at the keyboard when I type and the tears, all the tears, hard to see the keys through the kaleidoscope, and the keys are getting slippery and wet... give me a minute...
OK, I think... no, hold on... it's happening again...
Now, yes, now... so this BRUTE... really, one of those philistine's
"Big George: What's a Philistine?
Sally: Well, it's just a real dirty person. "
he just, with total disregard, GLANCES at the email I sent, what's less than a glance? Well, that is what he did, something less than a glance and then he starts pounding on the keyboard (somehow is able to hit reply, or to stick with my theory of having meaty fingers or mittens on so he can't type, grunted out a reply to someone as a form of dictation (me read email, me work now, me say random thing now, you no understand, me happy, me balls itch)) and responds...
Short, terse, the opposite of poetry and unicorns. No soft pillows or lavender... no powdered thighs... no cocaine and chocolate, nothing...
Very business like... openning statement, random directive, reitterate openning statement, kind regards...
I... I feel... right now, I have to tell you... I feel heartbroken... devistated...
Hey baby, I love you with all my heart and soul... only to get a big middle finger, not only a big middle finger, but 2 of them, one on each hand, and then he takes his middle fingers and jabs them into my eyes.... each eye... 2 fingers, 2 eyes... 2 trails of tears... I feel so completely fucked off...
I put my heart, my soul, my emotions, on my sleeve, just put it on out there... HEY!!! and he's all like, oh, we should get a beer sometime...
FUCKER... why don't you take that frosty cold beer and shove it up your ass... tastes great, less filling, up your ass...
Yeah, dude, yeah, why not... lets sit down, have a beer, maybe a couple shots on the side??? We can sit down, somewhere comfortable, right across from each other and have a couple tasty frosty cold bears and some shots and relax a little bit, and once we feel a little bit more comfortable we can talk... "Catch up on old times"... sure, that sounds GREAT... Really... no... Really... lets do it... we can sit and talk and everytime you move your hands I will flinch, 'cause you're a BRUTE!!! Oh, please don't hit me... I was just trying, you know, I was just saying... please don't hit me...
Yes... Yes, ok, I will have another beer... whatever you say... pretzel, no thanks, I don't like... ok, I mean... yes, I would love a pretzel... please, just don't hit me...
fuckin' brute...
Sorry, give me a minute... tears again... I was just thinking, it's hard, you know, but I was just thinking... oh, this is hard... but, you know... I was just thinking, you know, that I like, well, you know, I kinda said, well, things, all pretty like... I put it all out there, and I was, you know, just kinda... FUCK!!! ok, I am just going to say it... I was hoping you would say you loved me too... There... I said it...
I mean, it was obvious, wasn't it??? Someone doesn't sit down and bleed straight out of their heart, openning their life force to someone else, you know, and not expect the kiss of life right on back... Dude, I was drowning in it, and all you had to do was reach in and give me a hand!!! Just give me your fucking hand... pull me out of the pool... I can't swim in here alone... But NOOOO. NO! NO! NO! You reach back and push me under...
But you know what, well besides fuck you? You know what? I will tell you... that pool I am drowning in? You know that one? Well it is a pool of Love! LOVE LOVE LOVE (big pink fluffy hearts here)... You think you can just slap me down and drown me in it? Well, I tricked you, because, sure, I am drowning in a pool of love, but you can't die from that (well, you can, but that is a twisted kind of pool of love) and furthermore, when you were pushing me under, you got some on you... HAHAHAHAHAA... and it doesn't come off... you got Catfish pool love wet all over your hands... don't bother trying to wipe it off... use it like a lubricant... let the wet Catfish love you got all over your hands be your guide...
Just think about it, ok?

Just thought I would say...

Wow, there has been a lot of activity here, and I feel bad that I haven't had anything to say... well, lets see if we can cure that...
Uhh, I was telling my dad about the big ass friggin' spider that I found in the tub, was trying to relate how really enourmous it was...
He asked me if it was a black spider, and I told him no, I think it was Oriental... heh, my wife almost blew snot out her nose at that, ahhh, we all had a good laugh, then we spent some time trying to remember the derogartoy term for Irish people, since it related to a story I had been telling... This was bad, since, you know, there were kids in the house and they might overhear as we go through the list of derogatory terms we could remember, which fortunately was pretty short, but still included some words that should not be used in front of the chirrens... anyhow, the conversation was lively and it occured to me, and actually, to be honest, had occured to be prior to this but I thought about it again...
I was all like, Hey, you know, some people take words pretty literally and shit... like if I say to 10 different people, in a crowded bar, Hey Asshole... right... so I bet that 8 out of the 10 don't really give a shit, 1 of the 10 has really low self esteem and takes it literally and feels feally bad about themselves, and the last dude, he would take it to heart and come on over to kick your ass...
Actually, I am probably full of shit... the problem is that I don't take anything literally. If some dude was pointing a gun at me and told me he was going to kill me, you know what? I wouldn't really believe him... I would figure he was joking or just fucking around or was trying to scare me... actually going to kill me? Nahhh...
I should probably work on that... 'cause it's all like, Hey baby, is anything wrong, and she says no and I don't take her literally so I figure there is probably something wrong... Or like, Hey, what's for dinner and she says soup and I'm all like, SOUP?!?!? and I don't really believe it...
So I diagnosed myself and got some back-up from the medical community that I have... wait for it... RLS... ok, so some of you are probably bored to death about hearing about this, but check it out anyhow... there are only 4 things you need to agree to to be diagnosed:
1. Do you have strange, weird, undescribable or painful sensations in a limb of other affected body part?
2. Does this sensation diminish with movement (although it may come back when you stop moving)? - this is the most important criterion.
3. Is it worse in the evening? (even if you have it all day, it's usually worse at night and before it was bad, it's almost always only at night)
4. Does it happen when at rest (in any way - but when you are relaxing body and or mind?
So here is the thing... at least with me... I don't know, but I think telling people I am all afflicted and shit and then they look me up and down and don't see anything but maybe me shifting in my chair or something, and they are all like, so what's wrong and I say, now get this, I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
Not like, oh, you know, my kidneys are turning to stone, or my foot it about to fall off, or I tiny worms are boring little holes in my spine and eventually my spinal cord is going to be fused together and I won't be able to ride mountain bikes anymore...
You know... It's not like someone like YOU could look at me and see the lesions forming on my eyeballs, or notice that I have this tremendous swelling in my gonads or continually shit myself... NO NO NO...
So, what's wrong? Oh, I feel uncomfortable and have to move my legs or arms... Oh, so you are just a big puss... Hey, I have a headache, maybe I have something... OHOH... my foot fell asleep... I think I am going to die...
Well, you know what I have to say to you about that??@? Screw you...
I feel uncomfortable... Ok, so how do I feel uncomfortable? Uh, well, I remember different things that were like this for short periods of time... This one time I grabbed this electric fence (cow punch) and got this big ol' jolt and I was all tingly for a while... or this one time I got stung by three wasps right on my neck all at the same time and ran around like I had, well, just got stung... Or this one time I was at a sexy butt competition and I had just won and this dude got all pissed and threw a bar stool at me and I ducked back just in time to not get hit and was all like WHOOOOOOOO....
It is like all those things... it tingles, it aches, it feels like there is something crawling through my muscles, sometimes it actually hurts....
HOLY SHIT, you poor dude... How long have you got to live??? Hey, screw you... I'm dying here... This is an actual fuckin medical condition you asshole... I could twitch at the wrong time and like, hit the gas instead of the break and end up going through a restaurant...
Oh, hey, did I mention... no I didn't, but check it out... People who get this fall into (typically) one of the following groups: Pregnant ladies, dudes with lesions on their spinal nerves, middle aged men, or anyone, actually... but I happen to fall into the Middle Aged group... YEAH BYOTHCES... you better recognize... I am middle age, on the downhill slide, I got nothing to lose, I am like a loose cannon or something so who knows what I am capable of.... BAM!!! That's just a warning...
So I got some drugs from the one Doc... Mirapex... it sucked... I did not like it, it made me agitated... (poor puss, is uncomfortable and agitated).... so they gave me some Clonazepam (klonopin) and I took that like candy for a while and it got all built up in my system and I really didn't care about shit and started talking all sorts of shit... I had no peaks and valleys, just a straight shooter, for real... I got all crazy and had to stop that shit too (actually, I stopped for a couple days and recently just took a couple so I could get to sleep...)... Oh, they gave this other shit when I complained, Neurontin... and I am going to be honest here, it does nothing for my RLS at all... but I have been taking them anyhow... I don't know why, they kinda mellow me out slightly... they are like, uh... you know those lemonheads? Yeah, lemonheads and super aspirin and chamomile all rolled together... I just sit here minding my own business and talk and shit... but I swear I am grounded in reality and it's all cool... It's like someone dropped some aspirin in my coke... that's all... plus I keep hoping it is magically going to do something... so far nothing...
So anyhow, I am going in for a sleep study in a couple weeks... electrodes, video camera's, the usual... it should be intersting, not sure what is going to come of it... but check it out... I am already feeling the tingle in my legs and arms and it is not even 10am yet... so since the 2 medicines they tried, called gaba something (gabba gabba hey) caused me all sorts of mental issues that the next step is to try something else... the mayo clinic has this whole thing worked out and they will probably give me some sort of Opiate or muscle relaxant next... hopefully it will be heroin...
So you must be wondering, at this point, what the fuck, he has been typing for like an hour now... whats the deal?
Well, the group I was in got disbanded, and there ain't noone here at the moment, I am surrounded by noone and I have nothing to do... or very little to do... I can make things for myself to do... like learn javascript... but really, I could walk out the door with all my shit right now and go anywhere I wanted and noone would say shit... I think I will surf the web or something... shoot...